Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/A-class review/Dick Rifenburg

The following discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

The result was fail due to lack of comment.

Dick Rifenburg

This article could use some advice in progressing up the quality scale from GA. It has failed FA once.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 20:20, 6 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

• Comments:
• "1944 and 1946–1948". I have not seen another time years as red links! Link them or leave them unlinked.
  • Since I last checked only 1944 has been created. How about if I correct the other redlinks for the anticipated page names.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 04:11, 20 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • My opinion is that until the other year-red link is made a proper article, no link of any type is needed for the time being.--Yannismarou (talk) 13:06, 21 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]
• "It is not clear why Rifenburg did not finish higher. However, sportswriters of that era had a bias against Michigan. " Prose question: I am not sure if the use of "however" here is correct.
  • Corrected.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 04:11, 20 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]
• "He also worked for WBEN (AM) and WBEN (FM) and as the sideline announcer for Buffalo Bills games along with Van Miller, the long time Bills play-by-play announcer.[27] He also served as the play-by-play announcer for the University of Buffalo Bulls football team.[6] As a radio broadcaster, he is also remembered". Not the best prose.Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 04:19, 20 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]
• "Rifenburg lived 37 of his years in Buffalo.[6] His wife, Jane was the head of the Buffalo Bills cheerleaders when they met.[29] She is the former Jane Morris.[6] Rifenburg died in December 1994 at age 68.[22] He was survived by three sons" . Choppy ...Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 04:26, 20 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]
• "See also", in case you definitely need it (I suggest you get rid of it), goes before "notes".
  • I have moved it instead of removing it because I think the list is relevant.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 04:22, 20 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]
• "It is ironic that Rifenburg was born in Petoskey, Michigan in 1926 because Ted Petoskey preceded him at his eventual alma mater as an All-American end on the University of Michigan football team after he excelled as a representative of Saginaw County in MHSAA competition and after he made 1926 a memorable year for himself." I fail to understand the exact meaning of this sentence. Maybe I miss something as a non-native English speaker.
  • Is that better?--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 04:37, 20 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]
• The lack of photo is not an unsurmountable obstacle to FA status (neither in A-Class status), but the lack of any picture is not helpful either.--Yannismarou (talk) 17:02, 18 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]
• Support. Not perfect but indeed further improved. Before you go to WP:FAC, I still recommend an overall copy-editing.--Yannismarou (talk) 13:06, 21 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.