Wikipedia:Peer review/Fort Concho/archive1
Appearance
Toolbox |
---|
![]() | This peer review discussion is closed. |
This here is an article about a Old West frontier fort I wrote two years ago, and took to GA about a year ago. I've listed this article for peer review because I want to proceed to FAC, and I need some fresh eyes. I've... spent several days on this. On top of all the work I've done prior. Look forward to hearin' from y'all. 🤠
Thanks, ♠Vami_IV†♠ 11:14, 10 March 2021 (UTC)
- STANDARD NOTE: for quicker and more responses to pre-FAC peer review requests, please remember to add your PR page to Template:FAC peer review sidebar (already done). And when you close this peer review, please be sure to remove it from there. Also consider adding the sidebar to your userpage so you can help others by participating in other pre-FAC peer reviews. Regards, SandyGeorgia (Talk) 16:49, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
- Looked over this at GA, can look at PR. However, before I do, have you considered nominating at WP:MILHIST/ACR, where you may get more input. Eddie891 Talk Work 00:43, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
- I have not; I view MILHIST/ACR as a redundant process. If you think that would be best, though, I will respect your informed opinion as a MILHIST Coord. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 01:49, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
- I mean, I'd consider it pretty comparable to Peer review with a higher chance of getting feedback quicker, though your mileage may vary. Eddie891 Talk Work 02:08, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
- I have not; I view MILHIST/ACR as a redundant process. If you think that would be best, though, I will respect your informed opinion as a MILHIST Coord. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 01:49, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
Vami, an interesting article. I'm happy to try and give it a quick copy-editing scrub for you, if that would be useful? Hchc2009 (talk) 20:43, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Hchc2009: I would appreciate it. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 00:13, 17 March 2021 (UTC)
- Will give it a shot. As ever, please feel free to revert anything that you don't think is an improvement etc. If I don't think something's clear to me, I'll leave a tag in the text with an explanation. Hchc2009 (talk) 19:41, 17 March 2021 (UTC)
Comments from SandyGeorgia
- MOS:CAPTIONS, this caption should end in a period, and don't tell readers what to note ... Enlisted Men's Barracks 1 and 2. Note the boarded-up sally port in the center of Barracks 2 ... how about recasting to avoid the need for puncutation with ... Enlisted Men's Barracks 1 and 2 with boarded-up sally port in the center of Barracks 2
Done Removed the "note" part. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 02:29, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- Why is a U.S. installation written in American English using dmy instead of mdy date formatting?
- I was unaware of region-specific dating formats; I've just always used dmy. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 02:29, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- MOS:DATETIES ... I can easily switch them by script if you like. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 03:04, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- Hm. I dislike mdy, but the MOS has spoken. Make it so. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 07:31, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- MOS:DATETIES ... I can easily switch them by script if you like. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 03:04, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- I was unaware of region-specific dating formats; I've just always used dmy. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 02:29, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
That's all I've got; Hog Farm might want to look at this one. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 18:25, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- I can take a look. I'm a bit busy in RL (accounting student during tax season), so it might be a slow-ish process. Hog Farm Talk 00:05, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- WP:MOSNUM, the article mentions 3,000 soldiers (with comma), but $3000 and $6000 (without comma). Use the comma to be consistent. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 02:26, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
Done Good catch! –♠Vami_IV†♠ 15:01, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
HF
- "But, with the discovery of gold in California in 1849" - the discovery occurred in early 1848, I believe
Fixed Ah, yup. Oops. My source just said that folk started crossing West Texas in 1849 because of the gold rush. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 15:58, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
- "This phase of frontier history ended three years later with the beginning of the American Civil War," - Confused here. Evidently, there's an 1858 event you're referring to, but it isn't mentioned
Fixed This is an edit scar; turns out that 1858 date was the establishment of the Butterfield-Overland Route. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 15:58, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
- " that resulted in Cram's having Ficklin arrested." - don't think you need the apostrophe
Removed –♠Vami_IV†♠ 15:58, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
- "In 1875, the parade ground was cleared and a " - link parade ground. First appearance in the body, and it's a bit of a jargon term
- "He moved the regimental headquarters to Fort Richardson a month later" - Is Fort Richardson (Texas) the correct team?
- Yes; it's already linked in "Construction", though. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 15:58, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
- " McLaughlen set out again with two companies of the 4th Cavalry and one of the 11th Infantry and confirmed Wilson's report" - Who is McLaughlen
Fixed Another edit scar; Capt. Napoleon B McLaughlen, 4th US Cavalry. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 15:58, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
- "After Mackenzie and Hatch met with General Christopher C. Augur" - What was Augur's official rank? General wasn't an exact title in the US Army at this point
Added Brigadier Gen. My existing sources didn't have it, but TSHA Online did. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 15:58, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
- Ditto with Sheridan later
Added As with Augur, so with Sheridan. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 15:58, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
- Link Fort Sill
- "ordered five expeditionary forces of more than 3,000 soldiers into the South Plains" - 3000 total or 3000 each?
Done Each. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 15:58, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
- " Stockton, Fort Davis, Quitman, and Clark, " - Would Fort Clark (Texas) be the right link
Added Yup. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 23:26, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
- "Interested locals appealed in vain to the federal government to make Fort Concho a permanent installation" - Why did they want it to be a permanent installation?
Removed My sources do not say. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 23:26, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
- "one-story dormitories with attached kitchen and mess hall to the north of each barrack." - "with an"
- "About 50 feet (15 m) of the headquarters building is the residence of Oscar Ruffini" - I find the use of is to be odd here, as Ruffini has been dead for over 60 years
- I've added "former". –♠Vami_IV†♠ 23:26, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
- Ref 54 I think the publisher should be San Angelo Standard-Times.
- TSAL date from the infobox doesn't seem to have a citation. Also, what's TSAL?
- The NRHP listing never seems to be directly mentioned in the article body
- I'm not an image reviewer myself, but I have a bit of an idea on what to expect from a FAC image review. Expect there to be a request for the cattle trails map to have a more specific source than just the NPS
Removed I looked into this and found no indication that the map was from the NPS (a Google search for it turned up nothing). –♠Vami_IV†♠ 23:26, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
That's my comments. Hog Farm Talk 01:55, 21 March 2021 (UTC)