Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/List of Madonna concert tours/archive1

• Lead
  • X-STaTIC PRo=CeSS -> Wikilink
    • Wikilink will take you to Steven Klein's page. Is it appropriate to have same links twice? --Legolas ^(talk2me) 12:00, 11 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
      • I thought it had its own article. Tbhotch^{Talk C.} 17:05, 11 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • grossing tour ever for a female artist -> grossing tour ever for a female artist at that time
    • Done
  • Reference 9 -> ISBN failing
    • Google gives this isbn only *confused* --Legolas ^(talk2me) 12:00, 11 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

• According to this the ISBN is 9085950026 not 9085950023, but the first does not appear too. Tbhotch^{Talk C.} 17:05, 11 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

• I'm so sorry. I corrected. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 06:08, 16 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

• Concert tours
  • Duration (for all) -> Source?
    • This doesnot require source as it is taken from the article itself.

OK

• The Virgin tour
  • Critics panned the tour, calling it atrocious and deducting that Madonna "will be out of business in six months". -> Source?
    • Added Taraborrelli.
  • were completely sold out in a record-breaking 34 minutes. -> Source?
    • Added.
  • million.[15][1] -> million.[1][15]
• Who's That Girl World Tour
  • Reference 16 -> ISBN failing, I think you should change it for the ISBN I provided you at Spotlight (song).
    • Added that.
• Blond Ambition World Tour
  • aka -> also known as
  • Reference 19 -> ISBN failing
    • Worldcat lists it with the same isbn as Google.
      • False positive, sorry. Tbhotch^{Talk C.} 17:05, 11 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• Promotion tours
  • Duration (for all) -> Source?
    • As before.
• Don't Tell Me Promo Tour
  • were

• Comment: Well, this is a good list, definitely FL material, so my objections are just nit-pickings.
  • "and in Italy the Pope called for a boycott". "in Italy" is an apposition, so it must be separated by commas.
    • Done.
  • "dancers of both sex" -> "dancers of both sexes"
    • Done
  • "Madonna was inspired to create the tour, after taking part[...]". No comma.
    • Done.
  • "This record was broken in 2008 with the[...]" Those words are used in the previous sentence. Maybe reword it to "This feat was surpassed in 2008"?
    • Good.
  • Is it worth noting that Madonna hasn't toured Australia since 1993 and has since apologized for it?
    • Added a small part.
  • In the Virgin Tour synopsis "Madonna" is repeated too often.
    • Corrected.
  • Is the "See also" section needed for one link? You can link it in the lead, here: "Sticky & Sweet Tour, which went on to become the highest grossing tour ever by a solo artist".
    • Done.

Well, that's all from me. I'll happily support once these minor tweaks are done.--12345abcxyz20082009 (talk) 22:48, 20 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

• "concert tours, seven of which have been world tours" any way to avoid repeating "tours" in here?
  • Changed. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 06:03, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• " Her 1985 debut, The Virgin Tour, was based in North America only. Critically panned, the tour went on to collect more than US $17 million." I'd merge these two sentences.
  • Joined? --Legolas ^(talk2me) 06:03, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• "embarked" repeated rather quickly. Find another phrase.
  • Done. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 06:03, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• "showmanship and exquisite dresses" -> is "exquisite" a quote? If so, put in quotes, if not, it's a bit POV.
  • Quoted. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 06:03, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• "an Afro wig" is this clear to our international audience?
  • changed to the wikilink, that should be clear enough. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 06:03, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• "Madonna once the Harlow harlot and now a perky harlequin, is" this is a direct quote, are you sure there isn't a comma before once?
  • Ya there is, sorry. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 06:03, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• "ne of the most successful and highest-grossing concert tour" -> tours.
  • Done --Legolas ^(talk2me) 06:03, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• "top grossing tour" hyphenate?
  • Done --Legolas ^(talk2me) 06:03, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• Same for "highest grossing"
  • Done --Legolas ^(talk2me) 06:03, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• "Both Confessions and Sticky & Sweet Tours had planned to go to Australia.." don't think the tours themselves had planned that, maybe "the tours had been planned to ..."
  • Tweaked. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 06:03, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• "record breaking" hyphenate.
  • Done --Legolas ^(talk2me) 06:03, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• "prestigious" cite.
  • Removed for POV. --Legolas ^(talk2me) 06:03, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• Ref 38 has "Jo Whiley" while all other refs are surname, first name.
  • Corrected --Legolas ^(talk2me) 06:03, 29 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man (talk) 20:19, 28 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]