Wikipedia:Featured article removal candidates/Windows XP/archive1

Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Windows XP

There is no consensus: article is still a featured article.

I am concerned as to why this article has the featured article status. It has a terrible lead (starting with 'as of 2005'). The article is too long, there are too many small stub sections, and it is flooded with lists. Fair use images also don't have fair use rationales. I am also guessing there are more problems I haven't spotted. — Wackymacs 11:25, 3 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]

It can be renominated if
  1. The lead section is fixed,
  2. The short sections are lengthened or merged
  3. The lists are rewritten, or put into seperate articles, and
  4. Images recieve rationales. (There may be more that I have missed.)
As it stands, this article is definately NOT a Featured Article Trevdna 17:14, 6 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]
Let's go through the FA criteria, then:
  • "well written", OK, probably could be better
  • "comprehensive" - it is
  • "factually accurate" - noone has pointed out any inaccuracies
  • "neutral" - IMO, it is neutral
  • "stable" - hasn't had an edit war in ages, AFAICS
  • Lead - could be more succinct
  • Style manual: please highlight what specific parts need fixing, so I can assist
  • Copyright of images: Suggest that you review Wikipedia:Fair use#Images.
You have some fair points, and some not so fair points. Ta bu shi da yu 02:37, 8 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]
'Although two versions are currently in active use globally and differ relatively significantly, both are vulnerable [to?] and generally affected by spyware, so making a choice between Home and Pro will not always escape this notorious problem.'

There's a tendency towards long, convoluted sentences:

'Windows XP brought to the consumer line of Windows many features previously available only in the server- and workstation-oriented Windows NT and Windows 2000 families, such as greater stability and efficiency due to its pure 32-bit kernel, instead of the hybrid 16-bit/32-bit kernel in prior consumer versions of Windows.'

There are strange lexical items, e.g., 'addons'.

There's a potential POV problem in the first clause here, which could be reworded to avoid negative implications; there are lots of redundancies; and it's generally under-punctuated. [My comments in square brackets; my strike-throughs.] Again, it's not an easy sentence to get through in terms of length and structure.

In order to appeal to foreign markets whose consumers may not be computer literate, the Starter Edition includes some additional specializations not found in the Home Edition such as localized help features for those who may not [coy] speak English, a country-specific computer wallpaper[1] and screensavers, and some other default settings designed for easier [easier than what?] use.

You might consider removing the bold face that some of linked items appear in.

Tony 01:30, 14 December 2005 (UTC) PS I don't agree with the nominator and others that the article is too long.[reply]

  • Requested feedback. It has improved in places, and the lead is acceptable now, although I'd try to engage the general reader more effectively at the top. However, I'm sorry to say that the article still falls significantly short of 'compellling, even brilliant' prose, as required. Here's an example that has been redone over the last day or two, taken at random:
Compared to previous consumer editions of Windows, Windows XP had greatly improved stability and efficiency due to its pure 32-bit kernel, instead of the hybrid 16-bit/32-bit kernel used by prior Windows consumer editions. It also offers more efficient software management ...

'Compared WITH' for contrasts, please; 'compared TO' for similarities ('Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?'). Pity about 'Windows, Windows'. Should 'had' be 'have'? 'Due to' is typically replaced by professional editors with 'Because', as recommended in several leading US and Br style manuals, and would normally be preceded by a comma in this register. We have 'previous' and 'prior' in the same sentence; why not reword 'By replacing the hybrid ... with a pure ..., Windows XP offered greatly improved ....'. Get rid of 'also'; every sentence you write is additional, so use it only where absolutely necessary for the meaning. There's a redundant 'also' in the subsequent sentence, as well.

Here's another newly minted sentence, again taken at random:

Both editions have prominent differences, with the Home Edition lacking several features provided by ...

I see a lot of 'have' and 'with' in WP articles used in grammatical constructions that might be acceptable in informal oral mode, where body language and intonation might make up for casually incorrect wording; but this is in written mode, and is purporting to explain a complex topic to remote readers. Therefore, greater clarity is required—perhaps something like:

There are significant differences between the editions: the Home Edition lacks several features provided by ...

This is messy writing. My feeling is that a lot more work is required to fulfil Criterion 2(a). Tony 13:54, 15 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]

  • I'm not sure about your crusade against the usage of "also". For instance, it would logically follow that "I like oranges and apples. I like pears and bananas," is preferable to "I like oranges and apples. I also like pears and bananas." The sentence we're discussing here just reads and sounds strange to me without the "also" included. I'm also not clear on how "have...with" provides insufficient clarity. I've made some additional changes to the article, however. Johnleemk | Talk 14:34, 15 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]

Your example would be better as: 'I like oranges, apples, pears and bananas'. OK? Sometimes 'also' is necessary, but here it reads better without. The 'have/with' sentence is unidiomatic (having a difference?) and ungrammatical/awkward ('with the Home Edition lacking', which, strictly speaking, should be 'with the Home Edition's lacking—but that's still awkward. My suggestion above is preferable, isn't it?). Tony 15:01, 15 December 2005 (UTC) PS Your use of 'additional' in your rejoinder above is similarly redundant; the 'however' makes it perfectly clear.[reply]