Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Oxford United F.C./archive2

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by Karanacs 19:32, 21 July 2009 [1].

Oxford United F.C.

Nominator(s): Eddie6705 (talk) 18:14, 13 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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I am nominating this for featured article because it has undergone a large amount of work since the last nomination. However, as ever, there will probably be a few little things which need addressing and i will happily look at any pointers. Thanks in advance. Eddie6705 (talk) 18:14, 13 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • Comment. This still seems a bit raw to me. What is this doing in the Supporters and rivals section, for instance (uncited)? "Oxford United's firm is called the SMHS (South Midland Hit Squad) but have smaller youth firm called The Oxford Youth Outfit." Other parts don't seem to have an encyclopedic tone:
  • "However, results didn't go their way ..."
  • "Maxwell also threatened to fold the club if the merger did not go through."
Some parts seem a little awkwardly written, for instance:
  • "After the match, manager Maurice Evans asked long-serving physiotherapist, 72-year-old Ken Fish, to collect a winner's medal instead of himself."

--Malleus Fatuorum 21:30, 13 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Images File:BronzeOx_Kassam.JPG looks like a derived work from a 3d art work, please clarify the licence for this. I feel the images should be alternated left/right to balance the article (as far as possible). As for File:Oxford_United_FC.svg, it is unclear why this is used in preference to the older logos which are in the public domain Fasach Nua (talk) 22:31, 13 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

that's fine, I've been dealing with too many North American articles Fasach Nua (talk) 22:59, 13 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Why are flags used for all players? Have they all declared intention to play for that national side, or are they only eligiable to play for one particular nation? Fasach Nua (talk) 22:35, 13 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
How do we know that this is the milk cup? Fasach Nua (talk) 22:41, 13 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I can't guarantee that it isn't a replica, but it looks real. Rambo's Revenge (talk) 00:35, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Even if it's a replica, it's still representitive, there have been so many milk cups over the year Fasach Nua (talk) 04:47, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The Milk Cup which Oxford won was the sponsored guise of the Football League Cup for about four or five years, and that is definitely the trophy used. Here is a picture of the Oxford players celebrating with it after the match, and here is an image of Liverpool with it, in which the trophy itself can be seen slightly more clearly...... -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 11:37, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose – As Malleus said, the prose is rough at the moment, with many faults to sort out. In addition to his (unfixed) examples, here are a few of my own.

  • "Oxford United Football Club is an English association football team who play in the Conference National." A club is not a person; therefore "who" is incorrect, and should be "which" or "that". Also, "play" probably should be made plural.
  • "The club has been a non-league side since relegation from League Two in 2005–06." Add "its" or "their" before "relegation"? For the record, these are the first two sentences of the article. The fact that I'm finding problems this early doesn't fill me with confidence regarding the rest of the page.
  • The lead appears to be brief considering the size of the article, with a pair of stubby paragraphs. In addition, it fails to summarize the article as a whole, as it is missing any information from the Crest and colours and Supporters and rivals sections.
  • Move the relegation link to its first mention in the lead.
  • Headington United: "during the 1940s. in 1899". Check capitalization (hint, hint).
  • Is the club meant to be singular or plural? I'm seeing a lot of inconsistencies as I read. This is not the first time this issue has come up in FACs for football clubs.
  • There are a couple uses of "being" that lead to weak sentence structures, such as "Despite the plans being postponed".
  • Promotion and Robert Maxwell takeover: "Jim Smith would have managed the club with Reading boss Maurice Evans becoming his assistant." Many times, a with+-ing connection will lead to an awkward sentence, and this is one of them.
  • "The merger was called off as a result of both clubs protesting against the decision and the Reading chairman stepping down to be replaced by an opponent of the merger." Long, convoluted sentence. I sense an overuse of passive voice here and elsewhere.
  • Move Maurice Evans link up.
  • Printed reference publishers, such as Oxford Mail and The Guardian, should be presented in italics. Giants2008 (17-14) 23:33, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Otherwise, sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 15:55, 19 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The late Tony Kempster was the undisputed "guru" of non-league football data in England. He was a columinst in the national Non-League Today newspaper and according to the Football Supporters' Federation, who gave him an award in 2008 for services to supporters, his website "provides unmatched information on results, gates, tables, fixtures and even distances to grounds, is an invaluable source of information for thousands of football fans each week and carries a huge amount of information which no other site can match". This football club called his site "probably the most comprehensive football site in the world". The Non-League Paper (the other national newspaper devoted to non-league football) described him as "legendary statistician". Here is more about him from the Beeb. Hope it helps -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 22:20, 19 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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