Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Francis Marrash/archive1

Add links
Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ian Rose 23:13, 27 October 2012 [1].

Francis Marrash

Francis Marrash (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

Toolbox
Nominator(s): Bryan P. C. C. (talk) 12:26, 20 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

This is an article about a Syrian writer, poet and physician of the 19th century. I am nominating it for featured article because I believe it meets the FA criteria. It has become a GA on September 2 and has been expanded since then. Any suggestions appreciated! Thank you in advance! Bryan P. C. C. (talk) 12:26, 20 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - spotchecks not done

  • Why use titles for some shortened citations and authors for others? Why include all authors for some citations and only first author for others?
  • Generally, don't italicize volume numbers
  • Wielandt source appears to be non-English, but is not notated as such
  • Robin Ostle or Ostle Robin? Formatting doesn't match other author/editor listings. Nikkimaria (talk) 01:21, 24 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Hello, thank you for your review! There are some books for which I haven't found who wrote the text I was referring to (the book edited by Robin Osle, and the Encyclopaedia of Islam—are the editors of the Encyclopaedia its only writers? is the 1991 edition based on a previous one?), what should I do? I hadn't found a clear answer there (or perhaps I misunderstood) so I added the name of the book... Thank you very much for your help! :) Bryan P. C. C. (talk) 08:48, 24 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you very much, Kürbis! :) Bryan P. C. C. (talk) 08:48, 24 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments –

  • "where he would produce some more literary works until his early death." The previous part of the sentence, about his youth and medical career, doesn't mention him producing any literary works, so I don't think "some more" is warranted without some indication otherwise.
Done. Does it sound good?
Actually, I didn't want literary removed; I wanted "some" removed, as it is kind of vague (how many works)? I'd just get rid of that word to avoid such issues. Giants2008 (Talk) 02:05, 9 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Fixed. Bryan P. C. C. (talk) 12:33, 9 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Background and education: "and among them the priest Jibrail Marrash." Sentence works best without the "and" here.
Done.
  • Don't understand what "He was a man of letters" is supposed to mean. Does this mean he was a fan of them, or that he wrote many letters? Or something else?
The meaning would be "a man devoted to literary [...] activities", but I guess it's obvious from the rest of the paragraph, so it would be redundant, aside from being unclear. I removed it.
  • I see some redundant wording creeping in here and there. One example is in "after which he was sent back to Aleppo while his father remained in Paris for some more time"; the last four words are all unneccesarily adding on to what is already there, and the writing would be stronger with their removal.
Done.
Yes, fixed that. Thank you for your comments! Bryan P. C. C. (talk) 07:44, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Support and interested to learn of him as the intellectual precursor of the much better-known Khalil Gibran. There were a few odd turns of phrase which I have sought to correct. If you aren't happy with my edits, happy to discuss. Haven't done source checking, but in general looks meticulous. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:27, 23 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

At the same time, he wrote and published several works - ummm, on what? I think any descriptors of what the written material was would be helpful.
Circa 1865, Marrash published ... - why not just "Around 1865, Marrash published.." - the latter is plainer English....the former makes me think of abbreviations and I wouldn't use it in general prose.

Look - a very engaging read. A couple of minor quibbles only and we're over the line. Casliber (talk · contribs) 04:44, 27 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much Casliber! I've moved a sentence within the introduction, does it sound better? Bryan P. C. C. (talk) 08:45, 27 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Looks all good WRT comprehensiveness and prose. Casliber (talk · contribs) 09:35, 27 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]


The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/Francis_Marrash/archive1&oldid=1076191370"