User talk:Yeh000/sandbox

Peer Review by Rachel Cho There are a few grammatical errors that need to be looked over and there is too little information. Other than that, the information is concise and relevant to the topic. Perhaps you should add more material in regards to what exactly threatens abalone, let alone what this mollusk is and why they are important to the ecosystem. You should also create a subsection to thoroughly discuss the conservation efforts and how they are working to save the abalone population. Trackie1694 (talk) 11:56, 17 March 2015 (UTC) Cho[reply]

Rosie's comments on these comments: Rosieredfield (talk) 02:18, 10 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

• Specifying the grammar errors might have been helpful, since the person who made the error may not realize that it's an error.
• I suspect that you didn't realize that this material will be an addition to the main Haliotis kamtschatkana page, not a stand-alone page.

Peer Review by David Wu This wiki page is not really completed as seen. Though there is a little introduction about this snail-like organism, there is much more to add to let the readers to know about this creature. For the habitat section, more detail is required. Is the organism living in the intertidal zone? or what is the reason that might cause them to select this habitat. On the other hand, is there any natural enemy in around their habitat? Or how they defend themselves from their enemy other than hiding in their shells? Also more pictures will make your page much nicer and clear. The readers will be have a much clear sense of how this organisms is different from other sea snails or sea shellfish. Another suggestion for this wiki page is that write about the ecological feature of how this organism will effect its habitat. If its a local species will it be able to compete with the invasive species? Or will it become distinguish and decrease in population sharply?

There are a few more changes needed to be add to this wiki page, and it will be a great one after all the editions are done.

Dongyuan Wu David20101993 (talk) 16:55, 13 March 2015 (UTC) 206.87.158.57 (talk) 18:18, 17 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Rosie's comments on these comments: Rosieredfield (talk) 02:18, 10 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

• I suspect that you didn't realize that this material will be an addition to the main Haliotis kamtschatkana page, not a stand-alone page, since your comments would be much more appropriate if this were a stand-alone page.

Peer Review by Peter Lambert

Overview:

-Great information

-Not very much information. There must be much more that can be done on this topic! Abalones are so important and controversial

-Your scientific basis is strong

-It’s a good idea to have more than one source when that much information is included in it. Something that corroborates this information?

-Your writing is good. A little editing would be nice, but strong and clear.

-The current conservation section ends with

Harvest has been illegal in Canada since 1990.[10] The Committee on the Status of Endangered Wildlife in Canada(COSEWIC) has listed it as a threatened species. The Canadian Species at Risk Act listed it in the List of Wildlife Species at Risk as being threatened in Canada.[11]

Factors for decline include: over harvest, illegal, unregulated, unreported harvest, predation by the recovering sea otter population, and disease.[1]

-You could expand on what action has been taken under COSEWIC, or jump into detail on the factors causing the decline.

Overall very good, but very short. Keep truckin'! Excited to see it as it evolves. --PeteLambert (talk) 19:39, 14 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Rosie's comments on these comments: Rosieredfield (talk) 02:18, 10 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

• I suspect that you didn't realize that this material will be an addition to the main Haliotis kamtschatkana page, not a stand-alone page.

Peer Review by Adrian There are several things I recommend to this page

- put in more information - include some information to a link depicting the importance of abalone to local ecosystems - add some pictures of the logo of the organization

VariedEye (talk) 10:00, 17 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Rosie's comments on these comments: Rosieredfield (talk) 02:18, 10 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

• I suspect that you didn't realize that this material will be an addition to the main Haliotis kamtschatkana page, not a stand-alone page, since your comments would be much more appropriate if this were a stand-alone page.
• Adding the logos is a good suggestion.

Peer Review by David Ko

Hello Yeh000,

Looks like you've started on sandbox page. The information looks detailed and concise and I like how there is a bit of history in there as well. As for citations, I'm sure you'll have some references by the time you have your final draft. Since the page you're working off of seems to be quite substantial in terms of information, what you can do (maybe) is adding pictures of these conservation organizations' emblems and logos onto the page, which might help with bringing more interesting visuals on the page. Other than that, since you are concentrating on just one section of the page, it might be wise to go more in depth as it looks like not as much work has been done from what I see in the sandbox. All in all, there is some high quality information in the sandbox, however adding pictures and more informational substance might help improve the page! Good job and good luck!

Davidk94 (talk) 21:26, 19 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Rosie's comments on these comments: Rosieredfield (talk) 02:18, 10 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

• Good advice about adding some images.

Rosie and Ruth's comments on the March 24 version:

• My main concern is the imbalance between this part of the 'Status by Location' section and the much shorter entries for other locations. Do you have any additional information you could add to these?
• Your new addition at present has high-level headings, but the other entries in the 'Status by Location' list have just a boldface location name. How will you handle this?
• You will need to integrate your references into the other references already on the page.
• It might be useful to add a line about the abundance of abalone before the Europeans came, if you have this information. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Rosieredfield (talk
• You may want to link to other Wikipedia pages, depending on what links are already provided on the page. • contribs) 02:21, 10 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]