User talk:Hectorjo451/sandbox

Brandon DeMarco I think your lead is good but maybe you could expand on it a little. I know there probably isn't a lot of information but a little more would help. It is a balanced and clear article draft and I think once you polish it up and do some more editing it will be a valuable resource.

Quincy Johnson Expand just a bit on different areas in his life if you can. Other than that, I like your sources, and your structure, and you have a good lead. One more thing is just polish a little on your grammar, and you'll be great. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Qdot14 (talk • contribs) 23:06, 28 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Professor Smith Feedback: Hi Josh,

I think you have some good information that will make for informative article once you polish and expand it more. Here's what I'd like to see you do to get the draft in shape as you work toward the final version.

-There are *a lot* of proofreading and grammatical errors, especially run-ons and sentence fragments, that make the article difficult to read and understand. Go through the article carefully and make sure that all of your sentences make sense. - You need at least one more heading. This is a symptom of the article's shortness. You don't have a whole lot of information or detail here. I'd like to see you add in more information on his personal life, post-Civil War life and death, or political career. It seems like you have just copied the citations for the articles that the author of the Black Past article used to construct his essay and haven't actually looked at or read the sources. There is a fair amount of information on his Reconstruction-era career that is missing here. You'll really need to find additional sources, or read deeply in the sources that you are cribbing from the Black Past article, to do well on the assignment. - Remember that you need "See Also" and "External Links" sections to have a complete assignment. See the article template that I handed out in class, and that is posted on our Canvas homepage, for details on what to include in these sections and how to format them. - Finally, the lead could use more emphasis on why Bertonneau is a notable or significant figure. You need to hit that point harder. — Preceding unsigned comment added by StaceySmithOSU (talk • contribs) 06:03, 1 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]