User talk:Coschu16/sandbox
Quality of Lead: Lead was concise and gave seemingly all pertinent info.
Reliable sources; factual, neutral article. Articles and sources seem balanced, and article seems very clear.
Maybe source the statement about Harrison's push for equal pay between white and black chaplains.
Also it looks like you have the page of author Frances Jones-Sneed on blackpast.org, instead of Samuel Harrison.
-Ryan Tuthill
Tessa's feedback:
Great lead!
Birth and Early Life: "he and his mother being freed"--would be "him" I believe
Would there be any information on his many many children/wife after his death? Just for context. I always like when Wikipedia articles end with "He died, and his great-granddaughter went on to be President," or something.
Can we get more detail in the body with him convincing Lincoln to enact equal pay? Did he personally convince Lincoln? Did his works directly influence Lincoln? Or were his works like part of a larger cultural narrative that eventually led to Lincoln doing this? Also, was it Lincoln personally or did it also involve other bodies of government?
You said he had to leave the infantry after four months because he was so old, right? Can you put that in the Wikipedia article? It's really interesting and I think you could present it in a neutral way
When I followed your "See also" link to the Harrison house, there were some details that didn't appear on your page. I'd love to see these show up on yours, too, but I also don't know if that means they would end up taking away the information on the house page? It's weird that his house had a page and he didn't. But I would like to see some of the more minute details that appear on his house page appear on your page, too; I think it colors in some of the story around your own content.
Maybe you can also mention in your article about how his house was historicized? That's pretty neat, and might go in your lead? Or in its own section, idk
Overall, this seemed excellent! Your subject is really interesting, your sources are great, and your coverage is very impartial and balanced. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Tcb103 (talk • contribs) 23:15, 28 November 2018 (UTC)
Prof. Smith's feedback: Hi Colin,
I'm impressed by the clarity and cleanness of your article. It is very nicely written, well organized, and extremely well sourced. You did a great job putting together the first draft and I think this will be an excellent article with just a little more revision. Your peers are giving you great feedback above, including some things that I'll echo in my comments below, so be sure to follow their advice as much as you can. I'd like to see you:
1) Follow Tessa's advice about the Lincoln and equal pay issue. For people who are looking him up, this will likely be his most important moment of historical significance. Can you give us more information about how the debate emerged, why it was controversial, and how Harrison protested in a way that caught Lincoln's attention?
2) Also going along with Tessa's advice, I think you could change the final section to "Later Life, Death, and Legacy" and go ahead and put in a few sentences about the preservation of his house as a National Historic Place. It won't detract from the Wiki page for the home to do that, especially if you only add in a few sentences.
3) Remember to fill out your See Also and External Links section as much as possible. I could linking to articles about black soldiers in the Civil War, black chaplains, etc. — Preceding unsigned comment added by StaceySmithOSU (talk • contribs) 21:07, 1 December 2018 (UTC)