User talk:BeamLSB

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Your submission at Articles for creation: Battle of Hashidayama (May 12)

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed. Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by Iwaqarhashmi was:

This submission is not adequately supported by reliable sources. Reliable sources are required so that information can be verified. If you need help with referencing, please see Referencing for beginners and Citing sources.

Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit after they have been resolved.

If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to Draft:Battle of Hashidayama and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
If you do not edit your draft in the next 6 months, it will be considered abandoned and may be deleted.
If you need any assistance, or have experienced any untoward behavior associated with this submission, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk, on the reviewer's talk page or use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.

Waqar💬 20:15, 12 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, BeamLSB! Having an article draft declined at Articles for Creation can be disappointing. If you are wondering why your article submission was declined, please post a question at the Articles for creation help desk. If you have any other questions about your editing experience, we'd love to help you at the Teahouse, a friendly space on Wikipedia where experienced editors lend a hand to help new editors like yourself! See you there! Waqar💬 20:15, 12 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Your submission at Articles for creation: Battle of Hashidayama (May 13)

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed. Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by Shadow311 was:

This submission is not adequately supported by reliable sources. Reliable sources are required so that information can be verified. If you need help with referencing, please see Referencing for beginners and Citing sources.

Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit after they have been resolved.

If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to Draft:Battle of Hashidayama and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
If you do not edit your draft in the next 6 months, it will be considered abandoned and may be deleted.
If you need any assistance, or have experienced any untoward behavior associated with this submission, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk, on the reviewer's talk page or use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.

Shadow311 (talk) 20:53, 13 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Your submission at Articles for creation: Battle of Kinugasa Castle (May 20)

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed. Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by Ratnahastin was:

This submission is not adequately supported by reliable sources. Reliable sources are required so that information can be verified. If you need help with referencing, please see Referencing for beginners and Citing sources.

The comment the reviewer left was:

Please use reliable secondary sources.

Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit after they have been resolved.

If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to Draft:Battle of Kinugasa Castle and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
If you do not edit your draft in the next 6 months, it will be considered abandoned and may be deleted.
If you need any assistance, or have experienced any untoward behavior associated with this submission, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk, on the reviewer's talk page or use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.

Ratnahastin (talk) 03:40, 20 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Your submission at Articles for creation: Battle of Hashidayama (July 28)

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed. Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by AlphaBetaGamma was:

This submission is not adequately supported by reliable sources. Reliable sources are required so that information can be verified. If you need help with referencing, please see Referencing for beginners and Citing sources.

The comment the reviewer left was:

Partially seems to be a translation of the jawiki version, although there isn't any critical problems. However, there are still multiple odd problems with the redlinks of people (which seems to be a commonly introduced translation errors found in submissions), like Fujiawara no Tadamasa -> Fujiwara no Tadamasa. I'll decline the draft as there are two unsourced paragraphs, which one of them makes a claim that would probably need a citation and a possibly unaddressed "possible mistranslation" tags left in the draft. Jawiki and enwiki has different standards and slightly different policies, so unfortunately sometimes a translation just doesn't go through. I hope this comment helps in a way.

Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit after they have been resolved.

If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to Draft:Battle of Hashidayama and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
If you do not edit your draft in the next 6 months, it will be considered abandoned and may be deleted.
If you need any assistance, or have experienced any untoward behavior associated with this submission, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk, on the reviewer's talk page or use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.

ABG (Talk/Report any mistakes here) 13:28, 28 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Your submission at Articles for creation: Battle of Hashidayama has been accepted

Battle of Hashidayama, which you submitted to Articles for creation, has been created.

Congratulations, and thank you for helping expand the scope of Wikipedia! We hope you will continue making quality contributions.

The article has been assessed as C-Class, which is recorded on its talk page. This is a great rating for a new article, and places it among the top 20% of accepted submissions — kudos to you! You may like to take a look at the grading scheme to see how you can improve the article.

Since you have made at least 10 edits over more than four days, you can now create articles yourself without posting a request. However, you may continue submitting work to Articles for creation if you prefer.

If you have any questions, you are welcome to ask at the help desk. Once you have made at least 10 edits and had an account for at least four days, you will have the option to create articles yourself without posting a request to Articles for creation.

If you would like to help us improve this process, please consider leaving us some feedback.

Thanks again, and happy editing!

Utopes _{(talk / cont)} 13:57, 14 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

AfC notification: Draft:Battle of Kinugasa Castle has a new comment

I've left a comment on your Articles for Creation submission, which can be viewed at Draft:Battle of Kinugasa Castle. Thanks! Utopes _{(talk / cont)} 14:47, 14 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you so much for your help! I'll begin fixing it later once i have time. Thanks again! BeamLSB (talk) 15:31, 14 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Your submission at Articles for creation: Battle of Kinugasa Castle (August 14)

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed. Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by Utopes was:

This submission reads more like an essay than an encyclopedia article. Submissions should summarise information in secondary, reliable sources and not contain opinions or original research. Please write about the topic from a neutral point of view in an encyclopedic manner.

The comment the reviewer left was:

Could be notable, but still has some editorial issues. Azuma Kagami should not be the only source for inline citations, as this has seemingly caused the page to be written like a story instead of an encyclopedia article. Two sentences which give me pause are:

"While the rest of the Miura clan abandoned the Castle, the 89-year-old Miura Yoshiaki remained behind. The Miura retainers, reluctant to leave Yoshiaki behind", - the Miura retainers did or did not abandon the castle at the beginning, if the rest did? Why are we just finding out about Yoshiaki's age? This information seems to also be partially duplicated via the excerpt taken from the Azuma Kagami just above. And, it is already a bit of a tangent, as this text is supposed to be about a battle. I'll tidy it a bit for now, but it still might need more trimming.

"On October 2nd, the army, with Toyoshima Kiyomoto and Kiyoshige, father and son, also joining Yoritomo's camp, now numbering over 30,000 elite soldiers at this point, cross the [rivers]..." - This is the section I'm not quite sure what to do with. To me it seems the chronology is getting a bit lost, as the article makes frequent cutaways to explain who is the son of the wife of who. This is the first time that either Kiyomoto or Kiyoshige are mentioned in this article, are they important to mention by name? Not sure, I'll leave that up to you.

I'd recommend doing another grammar-check because I found a good number of fixes still, and it looks like there's still a bit more to do. Almost there though! Good luck.

Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit after they have been resolved.

If you would like to continue working on the submission, go to Draft:Battle of Kinugasa Castle and click on the "Edit" tab at the top of the window.
If you do not edit your draft in the next 6 months, it will be considered abandoned and may be deleted.
If you need any assistance, or have experienced any untoward behavior associated with this submission, you can ask for help at the Articles for creation help desk, on the reviewer's talk page or use Wikipedia's real-time chat help from experienced editors.

Utopes _{(talk / cont)} 22:38, 14 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

(Copied from draft): Actually, I'd wager the "89-year-old Miura Yoshiaki" aspect is fixed; I just combined the important bits from each sentence, which saves some space on the page. Still unsure what to do with the chronology and organization. only the names relevant to the overarching context of the battle should be included; it is confusing to namedrop individuals who don't appear anywhere else in the text, especially without a source / wikilink / existing article to refer to. Utopes _{(talk / cont)} 22:42, 14 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for editing a few of the problems in the article, i feel like for now i dont have really much to change or add now that you've edited the biggest issues. I see the problem with Azuma Kagami being a source i used for most of this, but thats because theres only 2 (as far as i know) primary sources about this battle and one (Heike Monogatari) barely touches upon it. I did add some secondary sources to the sources section but they also mostly use the Azuma Kagami as reference. It's really difficult to find sources about this war as a whole especially these smaller battles (much less in English, thats why all my sources except the Heike Monogatari are in Japanese). BeamLSB (talk) 09:50, 15 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Can't thank you enough for all the edits you made on the page, the page looks way better and more readable now, maybe i'll resubmit it later. BeamLSB (talk) 13:52, 16 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Your submission at Articles for creation: Battle of Kinugasa Castle has been accepted

Battle of Kinugasa Castle, which you submitted to Articles for creation, has been created.

Congratulations, and thank you for helping expand the scope of Wikipedia! We hope you will continue making quality contributions.

The article has been assessed as C-Class, which is recorded on its talk page. This is a great rating for a new article, and places it among the top 20% of accepted submissions — kudos to you! You may like to take a look at the grading scheme to see how you can improve the article.

Since you have made at least 10 edits over more than four days, you can now create articles yourself without posting a request. However, you may continue submitting work to Articles for creation if you prefer.

If you have any questions, you are welcome to ask at the help desk. Once you have made at least 10 edits and had an account for at least four days, you will have the option to create articles yourself without posting a request to Articles for creation.

If you would like to help us improve this process, please consider leaving us some feedback.

Thanks again, and happy editing!

Utopes _{(talk / cont)} 16:32, 17 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for reviewing this page too! I will soon begin on other Genpei War battles that arent in engwiki yet now that im done with Hashidayama and Kinugasa. BeamLSB (talk) 19:50, 17 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Your submission at Articles for creation: Battle of Ichihara has been accepted

Battle of Ichihara, which you submitted to Articles for creation, has been created.

Congratulations, and thank you for helping expand the scope of Wikipedia! We hope you will continue making quality contributions.

The article has been assessed as C-Class, which is recorded on its talk page. This is a great rating for a new article, and places it among the top 20% of accepted submissions — kudos to you! You may like to take a look at the grading scheme to see how you can improve the article.

Since you have made at least 10 edits over more than four days, you can now create articles yourself without posting a request. However, you may continue submitting work to Articles for creation if you prefer.

If you have any questions, you are welcome to ask at the help desk. Once you have made at least 10 edits and had an account for at least four days, you will have the option to create articles yourself without posting a request to Articles for creation.

If you would like to help us improve this process, please consider leaving us some feedback.

Thanks again, and happy editing!

Utopes _{(talk / cont)} 22:57, 23 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]