User:Tapewormfeast

Tapeworm Feast is the username of Mr. Æwesome,a regular user of Wikipedia. Also see user: soccerbling

Mr. Æwsome (Pronounced "Misser Ohsome") is an alias to protect the true identity of Tapeworm Feast, but he is not of any serious importance. He enjoys fine art and he often paints beautiful pictures in his home. Besides painting, Mr. Æwsome experiments with pencil drawings, pen and ink, digital artwork, and woodcarving/whittling. Another of his passions is music. He is a dedicated fan of Classic Hard Rock, but mostly listens to Heavy Metal and several of its subgenres including Thrash Metal, Speed Metal, Death Metal, Power Metal, and Progressive Metal. He believes that da aliens are coming and he also plays guitar actively and aspires to one day become a performer. He believes when he becomes a professional, he will be able to tour with da aliens that are coming. When he is not creating artistic breakthroughs, he jams with his amazing band. Mr. Æwsome goes to a public High School in the western U.S. He takes several Honors classes including English, which spawned his talent for creating poetry and fiction literature. His style of writing is usually very dark and features a serious commentary on the public's flaws (for example, the poem In Your Guts comments on society's tendency to choose what's fastest or most convenient over what's safest and best, often resulting in complete destruction of lives and minds). He does, however, write comedy from time to time. He also performs in theater and has had starring parts in several plays, including the role of Dromio of Syracuse in William Shakespeare's A Comedy of Errors. One of his main physical hobbies is golf. Da aliens are coming. He occasionally plays video games, and is often quite good at them. Not always, though. He lives peacefully on an Equestrian farm with five cats and several horses.

The name Tapeworm Feast comes from one of Mr. Æwsome's recent illustrations, which features an image of a tapeworm violently bursting through a stomach wall. Blood and acid are thrown across the page as the worm shows its dozens of teeth. The image is supposed to represent the suffering people go through when they act on convenience and not caution, and to physicalize the author's secret wish to be able to feed off other's mistakes and not his own. While the image is not impressive by professional standards, Mr. Æwsome is a respected artist at the age of "young but not that young". The picture is an accompaniment to his poem In Your Guts. The name can be interpreted as a feast for a tapeworm of a feast of tapeworms.

Original art "Tapeworm Feast" from In Your Guts

The origin of the name "Mr. Æwsome" is simple. He's a mister, and he's awesome. The first letter conjoined Æ was inspired by the second full-length Tool album, entitled Ænima, and also by some of the names of characters in William Shakespeare plays.

Mr. Æwsome is the founder and president of three main publishing corporations. The first is SlopConnor, inc. The name is a tribute to the main character in one of Mr. Æwsome's favorite movies, Highlander. Technically, SlopConnor, inc. owns both of the other corporations, but it's really more of a partnership than an ownership. SlopConnor, inc. handles most of Mr. Æwsome's affairs, including financing, mock legal issues, and media production. Major projects include the production and distribution of two short films, a video version of Shakespeare's "MacBeth", and the comedy/murder mystery film entitled "Mozambique", as well as the upcoming release of the bilingual dramedy "Dias De Venganza". The second group is Omega Media, but the project was abandoned after Mr. Æwsome discovered that the name and logo too closely resembled those of several professional companies. Omega was the title ownership of several subcompanies, including Omega comics, Omega Games, and Omega Books. The third organization is "It's a Killer!" productions, which handled the development of almost all of Mr. Æwsome's technological experiments, mainly elaborate slideshows. The name came from the title of the first It's a Killer! slideshow, "Harassment: It's a Killer!". All three companies are minor and unofficial, and two of them are currently active.

Just like any other human being, Mr. Æwsome believes in some things and not others. One belief he has, for example, is that Bigfoot is real. He believes, however, that Bigfoot is not a monster, but Cain, the son of Adam, who was cursed after he murdered his brother Abel. This comes from his being a devoted Christian. He has a strong respect for people of any religion, however, as he sees it as the largest step to personal development and eternal happiness. As a result, he is against drug abuse, profanity, unnecessary violence, pornography, and he is for the improvement of people as a whole through change and behaviors such as becoming selfless, eliminating hipocrisy, abstinance, generosity, service, and friendship. He believes that to become truly happy one must:

• Develop as much as possible, usually by...
• Becoming good at something
• Excercising God-Given talents and gifts
• Becoming physically and mentally strong
• Be kind to everyone(even enemies)
• Believe in a higher being (this creates a sense of security and optimism)
• Try as hard as they can to be as good as they can

He also believes in evil, satan, and eternal consequences. Mr. Æwsome has sworn on an oath to thwart evil and to personally defeat and overcome satan. He believes that some people are not of good intentions, so he has given himself the following guidelines to protect himself:

• Never act what you think (cuz then people know what you're thinking)
• Think before you do anything
• Take it slow and think
• Analyze problems to solve them (goal,restriction,solution)
• Take a look at everything from at least three possible points of view (probably more)