User:RoyGoldsmith/SES
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This is a Simple English Sandbox, intentionally established on the normal English Wikipedia. Since the preview and save buttons function so much quicker in enWP than in SEWP (as of September 2009), I decided to create a sandbox for SE articles but locate it here. Please note that the [[self links]] entered here access articles in enWP but, when they are pasted to articles in SEWP, the links will reflect the situation there.
Simple Sentence Structure
Simple sentences are more understandable than complex ones. The simplest sentence structure in English is subject-verb-object-period, subject-verb-object-period and so on. Try to use the simplest sentences that make sense.
You should begin by forming simple sentences natually when you're thinking about adding something to Simple Wikipedia. In your mind, don't phrase your sentence obscurely and then try to convert it to something simpler. Get in the habit of thinking in clear, direct English, without unnecessary words. But never be afraid to add a few words to make a sentence clearer. Simple Engish is not shorter English.
In many cases, simple English requires more words than ordinary English. In part this is because of "filler words", where the words act as a mental pause, allowing the reader to catch up with your thought. When converting something from the English Wikipedia, it's not uncommon to find that your Simple English article takes up an additional 25 to 50 percent over the text in standard English. In cases where the original English is poorly structured to begin with (usually in an attempt to seem erudite to others), you may consume upward of 200 or 300 percent more space.
Remember that this guideline, like all Wikipedia rules, is meant to be used with common sense. It is more important that you follow the spirit of simple sentence structure than reducing every possible sentence to its simplest form.
Guidelines
1. Always start by using simple sentences. For example:
- John Smith walked his dog.
- Subject: John Smith
- Verb: walked
- Direct object: his dog
and
- John Smith walked his dog to the supermarket.
- Subject: John Smith
- Verb: walked
- Direct object: his dog
- Indirect object (also prepositional phrase): to the supermarket
but, if possible, not
- John Smith walked to the supermarket with his dog.
- Subject: John Smith
- Verb: walked
- Two indirect objects referring to the subject: to the supermarket and with his dog
2. Try to avoid compound sentences – those with embedded conjunctions (and, or, but, however, etc.) – when possible. Write this:
- Good: John Smith walked his dog. Later, he was tired.
instead of
- Less good: John Smith walked his dog but later he was tired.
But this is not a guideline in favor of short sentences. For example:
- Good: John Smith walked his big, hairy dog, Bluto, to the supermarket on Main Street. Later, he was so tired that he collapsed onto his bed exhausted.
3. If you must use complex sentences – those with both independent clauses (which express a complete thought) and at least one subordinate clause (starting with a word like although, because, who, which, etc.) – try to have only one subordinate clause, like this:
- John Smith walked his dog to the supermarket because he was hungry.
- Subject: John Smith
- Verb: walked
- Direct object: his dog
- Indirect object (also prepositional phrase): to the supermarket
- Dependent clause: because he was hungry
For example:
- Bad: John Smith, who was very tired, walked his dog to the supermarket because he was hungry but he returned to his home still hungry and even more tired because the market was closed.
- Clauses: who was very tired; because he was hungry; but he returned to his home; and even more tired and because the market was closed
- Better: John Smith was very tired. Nevertheless, he walked his dog to the supermarket because he was hungry. But the market was closed. So he returned to his home still hungry and even more tired.
4. Try not to use compound-complex sentences, with multiple independent and dependent clauses.
- Bad: John Smith walked his dog to the supermarket where he thought he might buy some apples, but Mary Jones, who considered herself superior to John (although many people believed that she didn't have any reason to feel that way), arrived first and spitefully bought the remaining three apples and so John, who was mad as hell at Mary by this time, had to go home hungry anyway.
- Better: John Smith walked his dog to the supermarket. He thought he might buy some apples. But Mary Jones arrived first and bought the remaining three apples. She did this just for spite. (Mary considered herself superior to John. However, many people believed that she had no reason to feel that way.) By this time however, John was mad as hell at Mary. But he had to go home hungry anyway.
To sum up, the preferred sentence forms are:
- Subject-Verb-DirectObject.
- Subject-Verb-IndirectObject.
- Subject-Verb-DirectObject-IndirectObject.
- Subject-Verb-DirectObject-SubordinateClause.
- Subject-Verb-DirectObject-IndirectObject-SubordinateClause.
Refactoring existing sentences
"Refactoring" means using a procedure that accomplishes its task almost automatically and mechanically, but not quite.
Here are some refactoring rules to change complex sentence structures into simpler ones. These rules should be applied over and over again to the same sentence until you feel that the sentence structure is simple enough for this Wikipedia. Although listed in order of complexity, these rules can be applied in any order.
(Please note that you probably wouldn't refactor sentences as simple as the first examples below. But, if the sentence was as complex as the one given in guideline number 4 in the sub-section above, then these rules would be a good place to start. The complexity of a sentence tends to grow as time passes. If you "over-simplify" to begin with then future editors won't have so much to worry about. Remember that the refactoring process is iterative; that the guidelines should be applied over and over again.)
Rules
1. When you see and, or, but, for, so, yet and other conjunctions that link two independent thoughts in the same sentence:
1. Remove the conjunction.
2. Add a period at the end of the word that preceded the conjunction.
3. Capitalize the first word that followed the conjuction.
4. You may have to add new punctuation, usually in the second sentence.
Example: John Smith walked his dog but later he was tired becomes John Smith walked his dog. Later, he was tired.
2. When the subject is missing from the second thought, add the appropriate pronoun.
Example: John Smith walked his dog and later petted Mary's cat becomes John Smith walked his dog. Later, he petted Mary's cat.
3. You can always split a sentence at a semicolon.
Example: John Smith liked to walk his dog; but today, the dog was sick becomes John Smith liked to walk his dog. Today however, the dog was sick.
4a. When the conjuction expresses significant meaning (usually how or why the subject arrived at the current state), you might consider leaving the conjuction in place as the start of the second sentence.
Example: John Smith walked his dog but he didn't like it becomes John Smith walked his dog. But he didn't like it.
4b. You might also want to rearrange the order of the sentences, changing the conjuction if necessary.
Example: John Smith walked his dog even though he was very tired becomes John Smith was very tired. Even so, he walked his dog.
5. If you see more than one subordinate or dependent clause in a sentence, you can usually isolate all but one by:
1. Changing the order of the sentences so that the most important information comes first.
2. Starting all but the first sentence with the filler words: this or this is or this was due to and so forth.
Example: John Smith walked his dog, which made him angry because the dog always cut into on-coming traffic, which, in turn, made the drivers angry at John, not the dog. This becomes John Smith was angry while walking his dog. This was because the dog would always cut into on-coming traffic. This, in turn, made the drivers irritated at John, not the dog.
6. When you see a dependent clause occurring in the middle of a sentence (normally separated by commas or parentheses), you can usually detach it and make it a separate sentence, again with the appropriate pronoun.
Example: John Smith, who was very tired, walked his dog... becomes John Smith was very tired. He walked his dog....
A Real-World Example
Before refactoring, these two paragraphs existed in the Wikipedia article on the Sun:
- Earth's fate is still a bit of a mystery. Previous calculations show that, due to the solar wind (which drops 30% of the sun's mass), Earth could escape to a higher orbit. But a newer study shows that, due to the tidal forces, Earth would possibly vanish itself while the sun continues to get bigger, although the sun will lose mass.
- Anyway, Earth's ocean and air would long have worn out, even if the sun is still in its main sequence stage. After the Sun reaches a point where it can no longer get bigger, the Sun will literally explode, but not like a supernova, but rather, it will expand rapidly and lose its layers, forming a planetary nebula. Eventually the sun will shrink into a white dwarf, and over several hundred billion, even trillion years (100,000,000,000 to 1,000,000,000,000 years), fade to a black dwarf.
After refactoring, these paragraphs looked like this:
- Earth's fate is still a bit of a mystery. Previous calculations show that Earth could escape to a higher orbit. This due to the solar wind, which drops 30% of the sun's mass. But a newer study shows that Earth would possibly vanish itself. This would happen while the sun continues to get bigger due to the tidal forces. However, the sun will lose mass.
- Anyway, Earth's ocean and air would have long since worn out. This is even though the sun is still in its main sequence stage. After the Sun reaches a point where it can no longer get bigger, it will literally explode. But not like a supernova. Rather it will expand rapidly and lose its layers, forming a planetary nebula. Eventually the sun will shrink into a white dwarf. Then, over several hundred billion or even a trillion years, the sun would fade into a black dwarf.
Please note that a technical understanding of these paragraphs is not necessary in any way for the refactoring. Simplifying sentence structure is purely a matter of grammar. The words in those paragraphs, such as orbit, solar winds and the sun's mass, could have just as readily been replaced by apples, oranges and strawberries.