User:NocturneNoir/Sandbox

• "a wolf-deity in control of wheat" reads a little odd to me. I get the deity thing, but what does "in control of wheat" really mean?!
• "stopped believing in her." believe it or not it's difficult to be sure who "her" is here, either "Holo" or "Kraft", neither of whom you've told me if they're female or not!
• "released to six DVD " normally released on DVD.
• " were released to four BD/DVD compilation " ditto.
• No key is given for episodes with red/pink background.
• What does # mean in the table?
• Is wolf deity hyphenated or not?
• "She requests to become" reads a bit odd, maybe just "She asks if she can become"?
• "silver has actually gone down" why not just "silver has decreased"?
• "Lawrence and Holo head to the guild that Lawrence is a member of and Lawrence is greeted warmly inside" Lawrence x 3 in one sentence?
• " and flirts a bit with Holo" reads like a tabloid newspaper.
• Do you really think we need to link bankruptcy and ultimatum?
• "scrounges up a few" don't think you need "up" here.
• "smooth talking" if you insist (I would imagine) needs to be hyphenated.
• "haggled over pieces of pyrite, their price greatly inflated by haggling" repeat of haggle here, can we be more imaginative?
• " in an attempt to create some space. " what?
• "she get drunk " gets. Better still, becomes.

The Rambling Man (talk) 19:30, 29 November 2010 (UTC)

First off, thanks for the review. You shouldn't apologise for the lack of interest; it's understandable given the subject matter consists of long bits of prose from a non-English source comparable to much easier to verify lists with far less prose.
I've attempted to correct all the issues raised above with the notable exception of the key for the episodes with a red/pink background: both episodes are marked by a (OVA) in the Original air date column and have a note explaining it. If this is insufficient, I would not be opposed to removing the colours altogether since they add very little substance to the list itself (as they should). Please let me know if anything else needs clarifying. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR^talk 00:50, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

• Why is "video album" a red link here, something I've not seen in any other discog?
• No images at all?
• "one compilation," ... album.
• "was started in 2005 " formed in 2005.
• "named the band ABS after Ebisu, Tokyo, Japan" not clear to a non-expert. Is this a linguistic thing?
• " signed under Epic Records Japan" I think conventionally bands are signed "to" not "under" a label.
• "Their music.." (etc) you seem to use singular and plural "Abingdon Boys School" interchangeably. As a Brit I have no problem with this, but others may.
• "#2" - MOS says avoid this use of #.
• Ensure reference title comply with MOS, i.e. no OVER-CAPITALISATION for instance.

The Rambling Man (talk) 21:04, 1 November 2010 (UTC)

Done most of those.

No images of the band are available on Wikipedia or Commons, though I suppose there must be a way to port one over via Flickr. I'm unfortunately not an expert at that process, though I would welcome instruction and guidance.

I'll have a look on Flick for suitably licensed images. The Rambling Man (talk) 21:25, 1 November 2010 (UTC)

I checked Flickr myself; no such luck to suitably licensed images of the band. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR^♯♭ 02:31, 5 November 2010 (UTC)

A-B-S is pronounced similar to Ebisu in Japanese. 'A' would be "eh", 'B' would be the standard English "bee", and 'S' could be "esu". The trick here is that "bi" would be pronounced "bee" as well. Not entirely sure how to clarify this however.

A note would be very useful because to non-Japanese speakers, this is far from clear. The Rambling Man (talk) 21:25, 1 November 2010 (UTC)

Take a look at the note at the bottom; I think this should be sufficient. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR^♯♭ 02:31, 5 November 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the review. Let me know what you think. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR^♯♭ 21:23, 1 November 2010 (UTC)

• All of the notes are full sentences, so need full stops
• JP: Gold - while we, contributors, may know that this is a certification, some readers who have not read many WP discographies in the past may not
• Why does 'Compilation albums' table have a column for Orion chart position, but no entries?
• Per MOS:TITLE - singles should not be italicised, but enclosed in quotation marks
• Every single has a note, 'The title track...'. Obviously, being a single, they are title tracks. These need rewording, ie for "Innocent Sorrow" write 'The single is used as the first opening song to the anime series D.Gray-man'
• What on Earth are 'Contributions'?

Adabow (talk · contribs) 06:22, 12 November 2010 (UTC)

Responses:

• Notes like "Only released in Europe" are not full sentences and thus cannot have periods after them; I would much rather have conformity with regard to punctuation, so I prefer no full stops.

• I still don't find this acceptable, but I'll wait for others' opinions

• Have clarified JP: Gold.
• I put the Oricon chart positions for all sections for the sake of conformity.
• Fixed the singles bit.
• Japanese singles almost always include additional songs, or B-sides. While "The single" would refer to the title track, the clarification, "The title track..." solidifies the claim that the title tracks are the opening song
• The lead notes that the discography includes "seven contributions to releases not under its name"; how may I clarify this further?

• How about 'Other appearances' or similar? You need to clarify what each album is. Are they all compilation albums?

• I suppose? Contributions was used both here and here while this, this, and this use Other appearances. I've switched it, regardless and yes, they are all compilation albums with the exception of "Buck-Tick Fest 2007 on Parade", a live video album. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR^talk 23:09, 13 November 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for your review. I hope I've answered all of your concerns. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR^talk 07:42, 12 November 2010 (UTC)

• There is also an excessive use of boldface in the 'singles' table.

• I've debolded, but I honestly think it looks quite terrible now. This discography does not share the format with the large majority of other discographies; the single chart follows the album chart layout and I thus think the formatting should remain the same: bolded titles to highlight them. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR^talk 23:09, 13 November 2010 (UTC)

• Hmmm, I don't seem to mind, either way now. However, the 'Album' column in the singles table definitely needs unbolding. Adabow (talk · contribs) 23:41, 13 November 2010 (UTC)

• Ah, now that makes sense. Apologies for the misunderstanding; I've done that now. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR^talk 23:46, 13 November 2010 (UTC)