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Sibling abuse includes the physical, psychological, or sexual abuse of one sibling by another. More often than not, the younger sibling is abused by the older sibling. Sibling abuse is the most common form of family violence in the US, but the least reported. Nationally-representative data show that about a third of American children, age 0-17 years, have been victimized by their sibling in the past year.[1] As opposed to sibling rivalry, sibling abuse is characterized by the one-sided treatment of one sibling to another.
As opposed to sibling rivalry, sibling abuse is characterized by the use of control or power by one sibling over another.[2] A power differential is not easily identifiable[3][4], so another important characteristic of sibling abuse is that incidents or patterns or behaviors between siblings pose a high risk of serious physical and/or emotional harm and may include sexual coercion or violence[5]. Sibling sexual abuse includes behaviors that are unwanted, pressured, coerced, and may include contact or non-contact behaviors.[1] [6]Physical, psychological, and sexual abuse often co-occur.[7]
Types and prevalence
Physical abuse
Sibling physical abuse can be inflicted with shoving, hitting, slapping, kicking, biting, pinching, scratching, and hair-pulling. Sibling physical abuse is more common than peer bullying and other forms of family abuse, such as spousal or child abuse, though for a multitude of reasons, it is very difficult to calculate exact prevalence rates. Even when sibling abuse is recognized it remains under-reported, due to the lack of recognition and resources provided to families, such as child protective services and mandatory reporters. Sibling physical abuse persists from childhood through adulthood, with prevalence rates varying across studies, though its frequency declines as the victim and/or perpetrator grow up.
In Pakistani immigrant families in the UK, siblings have the highest proportion of physical abuse compared to other family members, with 35% being done by siblings, compared to 33% by mothers and 19% by fathers.
The findings for gender differences in sibling physical victimization experiences area bit mixed, but generally show that boys are more likely to be victimized than are girls. Additionally, age and birth order are contributing factors to sibling abuse, where older siblings are more likely to abuse younger siblings.
Psychological abuse
Psychological abuse among siblings is difficult to identify. Psychological abuse can include ridicule to express contempt, as well as degradation towards the other's self-esteem. Abusive psychological harm may involve extreme threats of harm or intimidation. Hence, the consequences of the aggression are not only injury, but also control or domination of one sibling over the other. Whipple and Finton report that "Psychological maltreatment between siblings is one of the most common, yet often under-recognized forms of child abuse." Being victimized by a sibling in childhood and adolescence causes fear.
Sexual abuse
Further information: Child-on-child sexual abuse
Sexual sibling abuse is defined as sexual behavior "that is not age appropriate, not transitory, and not motivated by developmentally appropriate curiosity." To identify sexual abuse, there needs to be coercion and domination over one sibling, although the power differential between siblings can sometimes be subtle and hard to discern, especially when siblings are close in age. Prevalence rates are also difficult to calculate for several reasons: victims often do not realize that they are suffering abuse, until they reach maturity and have a better understanding of the role they played during the encounters, they are afraid of reporting, and there is no consensus on a definition of sibling sexual abuse. A nationally representative survey of adults in Australia found that 2% had experienced sibling sexual abuse in childhood.
As with other forms of abuse among siblings, there is a lack of reporting in sibling sexual abuse, as parents either do not recognize it as being abuse or try to cover the abuse. An increased risk of sibling sexual abuse may be found in a heightened sexual climate in a family, or in a rigidly, sexually repressed family environments. Sexual abuse in siblings may have long-term effects on the victims. Many victims have been diagnosed with a variety of psychological problems. Victims have been recorded to correlate pain and fear with sex, leading to long term issues with intimacy.
Rudd and Herzberger report that brothers who committed incest were more likely to use force than fathers who commit incest (64% vs. 53%). Similarly, Cyr and colleagues found that about 70% of sibling incest involved sexual penetration, substantially higher than other forms of incest. Bass and colleagues write that "sibling incest occurs at a frequency that rivals and may even exceed other forms of incest," yet only 11% of studies into child sexual abuse examined sibling perpetrators. Rayment and Owen report that "[in comparison of] the offending patterns of sibling offenders with other teenage sex offenders ... Sibling abusers admitted to more sexual offenses, had a higher recidivism rate, and a majority engaged in more intrusive sexual behavior than other adolescent sex offenders. The sibling perpetrator has more access to the victim and exists within a structure of silence and guilt." Research has also shown that compared to adolescents who sexually harm non-siblings, adolescents who sexually hard siblings havee a history of being sexually abused themselves.
Identification
Sibling rivalry, competition, and disagreements are considered normal components of childhood and adolescence. To identify physical, psychological, and relational sibling abuse, practitioners and parents need to observe behavior and ask questions about the sibling's relationships that will help them understand if there are characteristics that differentiate aggression from abuse. Sexual sibling abuse requires additional considerations. Victims may initially deny the existence of any type of abuse but this may be because they have not realized it yet.
Lack of awareness of sibling aggression and abuse has likely led to parental minimization of the harmful impact of sibling aggression, expression of disbelief, or making of excuses for the behaviors. Many professionals, such as those in child protective services, law enforcement, school counselors, pediatricians, and nurses, may not know that sibling aggression and abuse happen, are not trained to ask about it, and do not have knowledge of how to respond.
Screening questions about the prevalence of types of aggression, frequency, the intention of harm, the magnitude of the aggression, and unidirectional dominance help assess the existence of abuse.
Weihe suggests that four criteria should be used to determine if questionable behavior is rivalry or abusive. First, one must determine if the questionable behavior is age-appropriate, since children use different conflict-resolution tactics during various developmental stages. Second, one must determine if the behavior is an isolated incident or part of an enduring pattern: abuse is, by definition, a long-term pattern rather than occasional disagreements. Third, one must determine if there is an "aspect of victimization" to the behavior: rivalry tends to be incident-specific, reciprocal, and obvious to others, while abuse is characterized by secrecy and an imbalance of power. Fourth, one must determine the goal of the questionable behavior: the goal of abuse tends to be embarrassment or domination of the victim.
Regarding sexual abuse, individuals are less likely to openly talk about it, unlike other forms of abuse such as physical or psychological. For this reason, in addition to asking direct questions about sibling sexual abuse, practitioners and parents must look out for behaviors that may indicate the presence of sexual abuse. Another challenge comes when differentiating between sexual abuse and developmentally-appropriate sexual behavior. A victim may not be aware that he/she did not consent because of innocence or lack of understanding of what was happening. The latter generally happens to children who are too young to understand sexual implications and boundaries.
Risk factors
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There are several important risk factors associated with sibling abuse. They can be categorized into family system, parenting behavior, individual, and other risk factors.
Family system
This category of risk factors associated with sibling abuse looks at the family system as a whole. It includes negative and conflictual parent-child relationships, parental hostility toward a child, spousal abuse, partner conflict, marital conflict, mother's marital dissatisfaction and negative emotional expressiveness, maternal self-criticism, financial stress, low family cohesion, family disorganization and household chaos, husband's losses of temper, parental alcoholism, parental support of child aggression, low maternal education, and family triangulation.
Parenting behavior
This category of risk factors associated with sibling abuse examines the parenting behavior of adult caregivers. It includes parental differential treatment of children, parents labeling their children "bad-good" and "easy-difficult", low parental involvement, ineffective parenting, inconsistent discipline, coercive parenting, parental abuse of children, parental neglect and approval of aggression, corporal punishment, not providing supervision, not intervening in sibling conflict, not acknowledging child-voiced claims of maltreatment, and not reinforcing pro-social behaviors.
Individual
This category of risk factors associated with sibling abuse considers individual traits of the offender child and the victim child. For children harmed by siblings, children with autism or physical disabilities are at a greater risk of being victimized by their siblings than are typically developing children. Siblings who are LBGTQ+ are also at risk for sibling victimization.
Imitating an older sibling's aggressive behavior, being given the task of sibling caretaking, and close age spacing were also found to be closely associated with sibling abuse.
Potential effects
The effects of sibling abuse closely parallel those of other forms of child abuse. Consistent evidence demonstrates that harming a sibling or being victimized by one is associated with negative impacts on mental and physical health across the lifespan. Sibling aggressive and abusive behaviors are associated with depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem in childhood and adulthood. It is possible that there may be significant problems following sibling abuse such as traumatic stress disorder, eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia nervosa, substance abuse issues, major depression, and problems with socialization. Sibling abuse is associated with other behavior problems such as aggression and delinquency.
Research has repeatedly shown that sibling aggression sets the stage for peer aggression. Some children and adolescents victimized at home by a sibling are also victimized at school by peers. A school bully may be bullied by a sibling at home.
In addition to the above impacts of sibling abuse more generally, potential effects of sibling sexual abuse include difficulty separating pleasure from pain and fear from desire in a sexual relationship, re-victimization in adulthood, difficulty in developing and sustaining intimate relationships, trouble negotiating boundaries, intimacy issues, and interdependency in relationships.
Siblicide may be an effect of sibling abuse in which a sibling commits homicide against another sibling; typically seen as a male sibling entering life as an adult against a younger brother.
Caffaro and Conn-Caffaro report, based on their research, that adult sibling abuse survivors have much higher rates of emotional cutoff (34%) with brothers and sisters than what is evident in the general population (<6%).
Prevention
Jonathan Caspi identified several prevention methods for children and families, educators and practitioners, researchers, and the culture at large in Sibling Aggression: Assessment and Treatment (2012). For children and families, pro-social skill development to increase social-emotional competencies with siblings and parental training can be used to prevent sibling abuse. For educators and practitioners, addressing sibling relationships in the curriculum can help prevent sibling abuse. For researchers, giving attention to sibling relationships and developing prevention programs in collaboration with practitioners may create potential prevention methods for sibling abuse. For the culture at large, Caspi proposes not accepting sibling aggression as normal, public awareness and educational campaigns, and making sibling aggression and abuse visible. The Sibling Aggression and Abuse Research and Advocacy Initiative (SAARA) provides prevention and intervention resources for the researchers, professionals, parents, and survivors.
Treatment
John V. Caffaro outlines clinical best practices for treatment of sibling abuse in Sibling Abuse Trauma: Assessment and Intervention Strategies for Children, Families, and Adults (2014). They include "extra precautions to ensure the victim's safety, such as locks on doors, increased adult supervision, and cooperation of parents, extended family members, and the community", "individual treatment for the victim and the offender, often with different clinicians possessing expertise in child abuse trauma", and "no conjoint sibling or family meetings with the offender until he or she has accepted full responsibility for the abuse and until the therapist is satisfied that the family can and will protect the victim from further abuse".
Media Portrayals
An important plot point within the traditional fairy tale of Cinderella is the eponymous main character's cruel treatment at the hands of her stepsisters with their mother's implicit approval.
The 1991 made-for-TV movie My Son, Johnny is a rare fictionalized portrayal of sibling abuse. The film stars Corin Nemec as a teenager victimized by his older brother, played by Rick Schroder. The film was inspired by the real-life case of Philadelphia fifteen-year-old Michael Lombardo, tried and acquitted for the 1985 killing of his nineteen-year-old brother, Francis "Frankie" Lombardo, who had battered and abused him for years. Not depicted in the film, Michael Lombardo died in 1989 of a drug overdose while under suspicion of having robbed a bank.
British soap opera Hollyoaks ran a storyline in 2024 featuring sibling sexual abuse between twins Jack Junior (JJ) and Frankie Osborne (The portrayal highlighted family dynamics, including parental favoritism of JJ as the “golden boy” and the abuse’s negative impacts on Frankie, who began binge drinking and self-harming. The Hollyoaks production team consulted with experts from SARSAS to ensure a realistic portrayal of sibling sexual abuse.
Notable examples
Cheyenne Brando, the daughter of the legendary actor Marlon Brando, confessed that her brother Christian seemed to be in love with her, and that he was jealous of her boyfriend Dag Drollet; that is why Christian killed him in 1990, according to Cheyenne. Christian stated during his trial that Cheyenne told him that Dag was abusive to her, and that he wanted to protect her, and that he never meant to kill Dag; it was a "terrible accident". Christian was sentenced to ten years in jail in 1991, and Cheyenne committed suicide in 1995. Cheyenne was abusive toward her two sisters, Maimiti and Raiatua, as well as towards Marlon Brando and Tarita, her parents, particularly her mother. Tarita Teriipaia wrote a book in 2005, which revealed Cheyenne terrorized her own family, as a result of her suffering from schizophrenia.
The French serial killer Guy Georges physically abused his adoptive elder sisters when he was 14, nearly killing them.
In 2013, the Australian actor Hugh Jackman opened up about the physical and verbal abuse by his older brother. He said the abuse helped his acting in Wolverine, and that when his brother apologized, Jackman felt released.
The 2013 documentary Sibling Rivalry: Near, Dear and Dangerous highlighted the aggressive and abusive sibling relationships of several notable figures, including actresses Olivia de Havilland and Joan Fontaine.
External links
- University of New Hampshire, Crimes Against Children Research Center, Sibling Aggression and Abuse Research and Advocacy Initiative (SAARA)
Further reading
- Wiehe, Vernon R. What Parents Need to Know About Sibling Abuse: Breaking the Cycle of Violence (2002)
- Caffaro, J. (2013). Sibling abuse trauma. 2nd Edition. NY: Routledge.
- Caspi, J. (2012). Sibling Aggression: Assessment and Treatment. NY: Springer Publishing
- ^ Mathews, Ben; Finkelhor, David; Pacella, Rosana; Scott, James G.; Higgins, Daryl J.; Meinck, Franziska; Erskine, Holly E.; Thomas, Hannah J.; Lawrence, David; Malacova, Eva; Haslam, Divna M.; Collin-Vézina, Delphine (2024-01-01). "Child sexual abuse by different classes and types of perpetrator: Prevalence and trends from an Australian national survey". Child Abuse & Neglect. 147: 106562. doi:10.1016/j.chiabu.2023.106562. ISSN 0145-2134.
- ^ Caffaro, John V.; Conn-Caffaro, Allison (2005). "Treating sibling abuse families". Aggression and Violent Behavior. 10 (5): 604–623. doi:10.1016/j.avb.2004.12.001.
- ^ Tener, Dafna; Silberstein, Michal (2019-03-01). "Therapeutic interventions with child survivors of sibling sexual abuse: The professionals' perspective". Child Abuse & Neglect. 89: 192–202. doi:10.1016/j.chiabu.2019.01.010. ISSN 0145-2134.
- ^ Yates, Peter; Allardyce, Stuart (2023-09-02). ""In there but not in there": sibling sexual abuse as a disruptor in the field of child sexual abuse". Journal of Sexual Aggression. 29 (3): 440–449. doi:10.1080/13552600.2023.2225547. ISSN 1355-2600.
- ^ Tucker, Corinna Jenkins; Finkelhor, David (2017). "The State of Interventions for Sibling Conflict and Aggression: A Systematic Review". Trauma, Violence, & Abuse. 18 (4): 396–406. doi:10.1177/1524838015622438. ISSN 1524-8380.
- ^ McCoy, Kelsey; Sonnen, Emily; Mii, Akemi E.; Huit, T. Zachary; Meidlinger, Katie; Coffey, Hannah M.; May, Gina; Flood, Mary Fran; Hansen, David J. (2022-07-01). "Helping families following sibling sexual abuse: Opportunities to enhance research and policy responses by addressing practical challenges". Aggression and Violent Behavior. 65: 101652. doi:10.1016/j.avb.2021.101652. ISSN 1359-1789.
- ^ Tener, Dafna; Katz, Carmit; Kaufmann, Yael (2021). ""And I Let It All Out": Survivors' Sibling Sexual Abuse Disclosures". Journal of Interpersonal Violence. 36 (23–24): 11140–11164. doi:10.1177/0886260519897326. ISSN 0886-2605.