User:Elmcdonald180/Urban fishing/Amcappi Peer Review

Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

General info

Whose work are you reviewing?

Elmcdonald180

Link to draft you're reviewing
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Elmcdonald180/Urban_fishing?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
Urban fishing

Evaluate the drafted changes

The article does a good job of explaining why there is a risk to urban fishers if fishing for consumption. I think that the phrase "when their purpose for fishing is consumption" is a good, professional way to say they are fishing to eat. I would suggest maybe adding a source for the sentence "-several carcinogens and hazardous chemical such as mercury, dieldrin, and polychlorinated biphenyls have been found in native fish populations including the striped bass and the long nose gar." Since you are stating specific fish populations I don't think it would be too difficult to find a research study or paper that goes over hazardous chemicals found in fish to add a source. The sentence "Due to the chemical composure of PCBs, they-" could be tweaked or re-written. Referring to PCBs as "they" sounds a little off but if you can't reword it in an effective way I don't think it's an issue. Overall, I would try to look into more sources for your statements to bolster the credibility a bit but I think it's a great draft. I also think your lead is clear and concise.