User:Byjaredbrown/Jean Enersen/Sshockley1 Peer Review

Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

General info

Whose work are you reviewing?

Byjaredbrown

Link to draft you're reviewing
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Byjaredbrown/Jean_Enersen?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
Jean Enersen

Evaluate the drafted changes

1.     First, what does the article do well?

  • The layout, tone are efficient and informative. Your facts are delivered with a neutral tone. You did an excellent job expanding this article with relevant and well researched information.    

2.     Is there anything from your review that impressed you?

  • You took a very short article that was not very enticing and included a lot of information about an interesting person. I watched Firefly Lane and I imagine many people that did would be interested in this article.

3.     What changes would you suggest the author apply to the article? Why would those changes be an improvement?

  • Is there a source for the second part of the Early Life” section about her education?
  • In the sample about the photographer in the car maybe expand on the story to connect the struggle of being a female in the job with his lack of enthusiasm.
  • In this line of the 3rd paragraph under Career I’m not sure if you are referencing Dorothy Bullitt or Jean Enersen (though I can assume and look back at your timeline to see it was Jean: “She appeared as KING's main anchor for the first time on August 30, 1971.”
  • In this line under Career should the reference be at the end after she is called “The Franchise”? If not is there a source for that? “By 1973 Enersen was considered Seattle's top newscaster, according to market research at the time.[4] She became known as the “The Franchise” in the local television market.”
  • Is there any other information on her philanthropy that might be interesting? It might be interesting to know more about how she participated.
  • I don’t know if it’s worth disclosing, but I see that she already passed away. I was wondering if there was any information on her passing that might be included.

4.     What's the most important thing the author could do to improve the article?

  • You have already added so much information that paints a clear picture of Jane Enersen and her career/accomplishments. I think clearing up a little bit of the sources and maybe adding a tiny bit on the info described above might complete it.

5.     Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article?

  • Your work definitely makes me want to do more research to get my article to a point where it is informative enough but not overwhelming. I have some work to do. Great work Jarod!

6. Reliable sources:

  • I checked all your sources and they look good except one is a duplicate
    • Jean Enersen | Seattle Times archives.com Retrieved 2021-4-14 AND Davila, Florangela (November 25, 2007). "Jean Enerson" link to the same page.
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