Talk:Woodland Sketches/GA1
Appearance
GA Review
GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 20:05, 28 September 2021 (UTC)
I can take a look at this! — GhostRiver 20:05, 28 September 2021 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
|
Lede
- Rather than referring to it as a "collection of short piano pieces", and you can correct me if I'm wrong, I would say it is "a piano suite", as the term is more precised and is used elsewhere in the article
- "by an aspect" → "by a different aspect"
- All done. GeneralPoxter (talk • contribs) 21:50, 28 September 2021 (UTC)
History
- "which he later disposed of" → "of which he later disposed"
- "Earlier that year in April" strange flow. Either just "Earlier that year" or "That past April"
- "in the fall of that year" → "that fall"
- Comma after "The suite grew popular and"
- ""[claim] an identity as an American composer."" → ""[claim] an identity as an American composer"." per MOS:LQ
- All done. GeneralPoxter (talk • contribs) 22:06, 28 September 2021 (UTC)
Pieces
- That this section is simply a list feels a bit awkward. To see if that was commonplace in GAs of classical suites, I checked String Quartets, Op. 50 (Haydn) and saw that the equivalent section was titled "Overview" (which I think makes more sense, as having "Pieces" followed by "Music" is somewhat redundant), and that it mentions broad characteristics of the set of pieces as a whole, much like you have under the "Music" header but before the subheads.
- Done. I moved the section in Music before the subheads to the new Overview section, and renamed the Music section to Pieces for clarity. GeneralPoxter (talk • contribs) 22:06, 28 September 2021 (UTC)
Music
- ""are suggestive of extramusical ideas without telling a specific story."" → ""are suggestive of extramusical ideas without telling a specific story"." per MOS:LQ
No. 1 to No. 5
- "a spare melody, based on a simple one from the" → "a spare, simple melody based upon the music of the"
- I wanted to specify that the melody was not just based on the Brotherton music in general, but on a singular Brotherton melody. GeneralPoxter (talk • contribs) 22:06, 28 September 2021 (UTC)
- ""saves it from blandness."" → ""saves it from blandness"." per MOS:LQ
- "As does "To a Wild Rose"," → "Just as "To a Wild Rose","
- Native American "motives" or "motifs"?
- The original title of the source is "motives", but it seems the latter is more commonly used these days, so I changed it to motifs. GeneralPoxter (talk • contribs) 22:06, 28 September 2021 (UTC)
- "Measures 1 to 8" → "The first eight measures"
- All but the first point done. GeneralPoxter (talk • contribs) 22:06, 28 September 2021 (UTC)
No. 6 to No. 10
- ""ever composed for the pianoforte."" → ""ever composed for the pianoforte"." per MOS:LQ
Reception
- ""have an inescapable fragrance, tenderness, and zest."" → ""have an inescapable fragrance, tenderness, and zest"." per MOS:LQ
- "along with three" → "as well as in three"
- All done. GeneralPoxter (talk • contribs) 22:06, 28 September 2021 (UTC)
References
- Good
General comments
- One picture, relevant and in the public domain
- No stability concerns in the revision history
- Copyvio score looks great at 11.5%
That's all I've got! Mostly minor tweaks, save for one section that could be shuffled around a bit. Putting on hold now, and let me know if you have any questions! — GhostRiver 20:20, 28 September 2021 (UTC)
- @GhostRiver: Thanks for the GA review! I believe I have addressed all of your points now, so please let me know if you need any follow up. GeneralPoxter (talk • contribs) 22:06, 28 September 2021 (UTC)
- Looks all good now, happy to pass! — GhostRiver 22:10, 28 September 2021 (UTC)