Talk:The Silent Cartographer/GA1
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Reviewer: IceWelder (talk · contribs) 20:34, 2 November 2020 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section):
b (citations to reliable sources):
c (OR):
d (copyvio and plagiarism):
- a (reference section):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects):
b (focused):
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):
b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
- Infobox
- Use "Bungie", the common name, instead of "Bungie Studios".
- Lead
- Unlink "video game" for MOS:SEAOFBLUE.
- I don't think you need to mention or cite PC Gamer up here. The body serves this just fine.
- "... of the development of Halo itself, ..." - "itself" is redundant here.
- Level content
- Consider merging the second and third paragraphs.
- Development
- "... when developers at Bungie moved to Seattle after Microsoft ..." - It appears that Bungie as a whole was moved there, not just individuals.
- Also. wiki-link Microsoft.
- Instead of "an RTS", write out "a real-time strategy game", as this is the first mention of the genre.
- "wide open spaces" should "wide-open spaces" or "wide, open spaces".
- Remove the comma in "drive, led".
- "... as a test map to test aspects ..." - "test" is duplicated here; I think you can just leave out "as a test map".
- In the quote, use emdash (—), as seen in the source, instead of the current hyphen.
- Reception
- Kotaku, PC Gamer, etc. should be italicized.
- There is an error in Burford's long quote, it should be "constant sense that you're making progress as you play through the level".
- There is an error in Dale's long quote, it should be "offering the kind of freeform, tactical warfare that fans could only have dreamed about at the time".
- Move the full-stop (and in one case, comma) after the quote per MOS:LQ. This applies to all cases in this section except for that ending in "That's peak Halo for me, really.".
- Restore the Oxford comma in Whittaker's quote at "... sections and a blend of ...".
- Is there a reason Andy Kelly is referred to as "Andy K."?
- In the last sentence, remove the quotation marks from the level name to align it with the rest of the article.
- Legacy
- When talking about the film, link to the respective section on the Halo franchise article.
- IGN should be italicized.
- Should "spiritual successor" be in quotes? Either way, consider wiki-linking it.
- In the last sentence, "the level" is ambiguous, since the preceding paragraph mentioned three different levels.
- Other
- Add Rich Stanton as the author for ref #4.
- For ref #14, include the page number (44).
- A pet peeve of mine: Please order the categories alphabetically.
- The level is mentioned on Halo: Combat Evolved. Consider linking it from there.
- @Zxcvbnm: Nice work so far. I left notes for improvement above and am putting the review
On hold for now. Regards, IceWelder [✉] 20:34, 2 November 2020 (UTC)
- @IceWelder: Thanks for taking it up so fast, I have made tweaks to the article that should address all of the concerns raised. I don't have any particular arguments with any of them, they were all errors I made whether unknowingly or accidentally.ZXCVBNM (TALK) 21:05, 2 November 2020 (UTC)
- @Zxcvbnm: Good job. I did a last few cosmetic fixes and archived the sources (then redid the fixed because IABot reverted my changes).
Passed. Regards, IceWelder [✉] 21:35, 2 November 2020 (UTC)
- @IceWelder: Thanks so much for the quick, thorough review. That is excellent news.ZXCVBNM (TALK) 23:00, 2 November 2020 (UTC)
- @Zxcvbnm: Good job. I did a last few cosmetic fixes and archived the sources (then redid the fixed because IABot reverted my changes).