Talk:Sigismund Báthory/GA1

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 17:55, 3 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get to this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:55, 3 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Sturmvogel 66, have you had a chance to read the article? I will not have time to address your concerns for a couple of days after 15th March. Borsoka (talk) 15:54, 5 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

• No DABs
• Need a source for File:Zsgmondbáthory.jpg. hu.wikipedia is not satisfactory
• Too much detail in the lede; remember it's supposed to be a summary. Forex, remove his parentage from the lede while still explaining who Stephen Bathory is.
• Stephen Báthory took charge of Sigismund's education.[9] He confirmed the position of Sigismund's Jesuit tutors, János Leleszi and Gergely Vásárhelyi. Combine these two sentences
• Stephen Báthory died on 13 December 1586.[11] Sigismund adopted the title of prince of Transylvania. and these
• He did not accept the offer, especially because he did not want

Suggest "mainly" instead of "especially"

• The Diet was again convoked in late 1588 suggest "summoned" instead of "convoked"
• Capitalize King when used like King of X
• Transylvania of the Hungarian Crown "from" not "of"
• All but one murdered noblemen Suggest "executed" not "murdered"
• Explain who Aaron the Tyrant was on first mention
• György Borbély, Ban of Karánsebes, invaded the Ottoman territories.[45] He captured Lippa (now Lipova in Romania) and fortresses along the Maros River before the end of August. Combine these two sentences
• Rudolph II promised Sigismund to send reinforcements and money to continue the war against the Ottomans.[58][59] Sigismund returned to Transylvania on 4 March. And these ones as well
• He did not trust his own supporters.[77] He referred to them as "intoxicated and brutish sons of a bitch" and asked István Csáky to help him to leave their camp on 2 July. And these
• Nicely done.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 01:47, 14 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Thank you for your comprehensive review. I modified the text in accordance with your suggestions, but I need some time to shorten the lede. My only concern is that I would still prefer the expression "murdered" instead of "executed", because the noblemen were not killed during a legal procedure. Borsoka (talk) 03:18, 14 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]
    • Judging what level of detail to put in a lede is always hard, so take the time that you need. Murdered is fine, it was only a suggestion.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 04:35, 14 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]
      • Sturmvogel 66, did you have a chance to look at my last edit ([1])? Please let me know if further actions are needed to improve the article. Borsoka (talk) 06:44, 26 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]