Talk:Otto Graham/GA1

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Reviewer: Lemonade51 (talk · contribs) 12:27, 7 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

On first glance, this may need minor corrections as prose is readable and it is comprehensive. No problems with the reliability of sources, imaging or deadlinks.

• Few dablinks need fixing
  • I think I got these, but I'm not too familiar with dablinks. They're still showing up when I click the link above, even after I made changes. Let me know if I'm not doing something right.--Batard0 (talk) 17:25, 7 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• Ref 19, 39, 57, 58 should be pp.
  • I think I got all of 'em.--Batard0 (talk) 17:16, 7 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• Ref 66 is stylized as CBSSports.com
  • Fixed.--Batard0 (talk) 17:16, 7 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• As a generalised point, the lead should act as summary for the entire article. Refs in the lead (in particular Ref 1, 2 and 3) are unnecessary because if something is mentioned there, it should be expanded upon the body. The quote one is fine.
  • Removed.--Batard0 (talk) 17:16, 7 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• Lou Groza wikilinked twice. As you have introduced him before, it is fine to use his last name thereafter.
  • Unlinked and shortened to Groza on second reference.--Batard0 (talk) 17:16, 7 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• "Whatever magic he had as a player disappeared with the Redskins..." reads sports journalese. Perhaps rephrase.
  • Rephrased to: "Graham's tenure as the Redskins' coach between 1966 and 1968 was unsuccessful, however."--Batard0 (talk) 17:16, 7 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
• "After Vince Lombardi took over" → "After Lombardi took over"
  • Vince is removed.--Batard0 (talk) 17:16, 7 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Otherwise happy to pass this provided changes are made within the next seven days. On hold. Lemonade51 (talk) 12:27, 7 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I also removed a bibliography entry that wasn't used in the references.--Batard0 (talk) 17:35, 7 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]