Talk:Mu'awiya I/GA1
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Reviewer: Luxtaythe2nd (talk · contribs) 11:33, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
- Comment: It seems to abide the first rule. I am starting to have positive thoughts surrounding this. Luxtaythe2nd (talk) 11:36, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
- Comment: Its inline citations are from reliable sources. Sorry for the very delayed response, had to be offline for a few hours. Luxtaythe2nd (talk) 14:17, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
- Comment: It also is broad in its coverage. Nice work, I'll see if the other rules are a check. Luxtaythe2nd (talk) 14:20, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
- Comment: Looks good. I'm not really sure if it fully abides the rules, so I'm going to wait for a second opinion. Luxtaythe2nd (talk) 14:37, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
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Criteria
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GA Criteria:
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- No DAB links
- No dead links
- No missing citations
- Which was not reestablished until the reign of Caliph Abd al-Malik ibn Marwan (r. 685–705) needs a citation.
Discussion
- "Shahid, Irfan (2009)" and "Shahin, Aram A. (2012)" are not used in the article, move them to a Further reading section.
- Shahid removed, Shahin relocated. Al Ameer (talk) 02:01, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
Prose Suggestions
Please note that almost all of these are suggestions, and can be implemented or ignored at your discretion. Any changes I deem necessary for the article to pass GA standards I will bold.
Lede
- I've made some copy-edits throughout the article, feel free to revert any of them. I've mostly only made MOS edits, and some non-controversial ones where it couldn't substantially change the meaning away from the sources. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 15:59, 17 September 2021 (UTC)
- He became caliph less than thirty years following the death of the Islamic prophet Muhammad and immediately after the four Rashidun ("rightly-guided") caliphs suggest changing following to after.
- prompting an abortive series of arbitration talks to settle the war suggest changing the war to the dispute
- He was the first caliph whose name appeared on coins, inscriptions, or documents of the nascent Islamic empire.[1] it seems odd to have a singular reference in the Lede; especially when this could be mentioned in the "assessment" section and cited there.
- All done. Al Ameer (talk) 02:01, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
Origins and early life
- This section might do well to talk a bit about how far Muhammad had conquered; perhaps with a map like, File:Map of expansion of Caliphate.svg.
- Added. Al Ameer (talk) 02:01, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
Early military career and administrative promotions
- which paved the way for the conquest of the remainder of Syria suggest remainder to rest
Consolidation of local power
- the Kalb and the Quda'a had accumulated significant military experience and were accustomed to hierarchical order and obedience. would the Kalb and the Quda'a had accumulated significant military experience and were accustomed to hierarchical order and military obedience. make more sense?
- Mu'awiya consecrated ties to the Kalb's ruling house, the clan of Bahdal ibn Unayf, by wedding the latter's daughter Maysun in c. 650. I'm not sure that consecrated is really the best word, perhaps consolidated would work better?
Naval campaigns against Byzantium and conquest of Armenia
- In a different narrative, does this mean it comes from a different source, or is it just being used to transition to a different topic? If a different source, perhaps gives the name of the source. If it's just being used to transition to a different topic, I'd suggest removing this, and then moving the information regarding Katwa's death behind this.
- Different source, but it is not named in the reference. Will look into further to identify/attribute to the original. Al Ameer (talk) 02:01, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
- Mu'awiya established a city with a garrison and a mosque to maintain the caliphate's influence in the island, which became a staging ground for the Arabs and the Byzantines to launch raids against each other's territories. any sources speak to the name of the city?
- No name that I’ve seen anywhere, but removed city, kept garrison and mosque. Al Ameer (talk) 02:01, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
First Fitna
- Must explain what "Fitna" means in an Islamic context, anc also link to First Fitna, as well as Fitna (word) itself.
- Done (I think). Al Ameer (talk) 02:01, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
- drove the Quraysh and the dispossessed elites of Kufa and Egypt to oppose the caliph would Iraq be more fitting than Kufa, or was it really just the elites of this city that opposed him, and the other cities and rural areas supported Uthman?
- It was specifically the Kufans, as opposed to the other main Arab garrison in Iraq, Basra (Arab Muslims were mostly secluded into these two centers at this stage, if necessary I could add context in a note). Al Ameer (talk) 02:01, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
- Mu'awiya dispatched a relief army toward Medina, but it withdrew at Wadi al-Qura when word reached of Uthman's slaying suggest changing slaying to death, or murder.
- "Killing" work? Al Ameer (talk) 02:01, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
- whom Mu'awiya denied entry into the province. suggest who was denied entry into the province by Mu'awiya, to make the subject a little more clear.
Domestic rule and administration
- Al-Baladhuri attributes this change to Mu'awiya's successor Yazid I (r. 680–683). suggest However, Al-Baladhuri attributes this change to Mu'awiya's successor Yazid I (r. 680–683).
Egypt
- In Egypt Amr governed as a virtual partner rather than a subordinate of Mu'awiya until his death in 664 suggest In Egypt Amr governed more as a partner of Mu'awiya than a subordinate until his death in 664.
- After Amr's death, Mu'awiya's brother Utba and an early companion of Muhammad, Uqba ibn Amir, successively served as governor before Mu'awiya appointed Maslama ibn Mukhallad al-Ansari in 667. suggest mentioning how long these two reigned s governor, perhaps using a formula such as "Utba (r. 664–665,)"
- All done, Al Ameer (talk) 02:01, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
Arabia
- and the Ansar was generally characterized by hostility or suspicion suggest and the Ansar was generally characterized by suspicion or outright hostility
War with Byzantium
- reports that the Egyptian and Syrian navies led respectively by Uqba ibn Amir and Fadala ibn Ubayd joined the assault suggest reports that the Egyptian and Syrian navies joined the assault, led by Uqba ibn Amir and Fadala ibn Ubayd respectively
- Mu'awiya oversaw an increasingly aggressive policy of naval warfare against the Byzantines. He continued his past efforts to resettle and fortify the Syrian port cities. suggest Mu'awiya oversaw an increasingly aggressive policy of naval warfare against the Byzantines, and continued his past efforts to resettle and fortify the Syrian port cities.
- elite Persian soldiers suggest Asawira, elite Persian soldiers,
- All done. Al Ameer (talk) 02:01, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
Conquest of central North Africa
- The expeditions against Byzantine North Africa were renewed during Mu'awiya's reign, the Arabs not having advanced beyond Cyrenaica since the 640s other than periodic raids suggest Although the Arabs had not advanced beyond Cyrenaica since the 640s other than periodic raids, the expeditions against Byzantine North Africa were renewed during Mu'awiya's reign
Death
- "Fear God, Almighty and Great, for God, praise Him, protects whoever fears Him, and there is no protector for one who does not fear God" words to live by.
- @Al Ameer son: That is all of my suggestions. Once the missing ref has been dealt with, and context has been added for the first Fitna, I will pass the article. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 09:06, 18 September 2021 (UTC)
- @Al Ameer son: Article needs reference to Gardet 1965, p. 930. in Bibliography, also for some reason "url|https://archive.org/details/astudyofislamichistorybykali02/A%20study%20of%20Islamic%20History%20by%20K_Ali/page/n81/mode/2up" is floating in the References section. After this is dealt with I will pass the article. -- Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 23:10, 19 September 2021 (UTC)
- All done. Let me know if anything not to satisfaction or if anything else needs to be revised. Thank you for the thorough review Iazyges. Al Ameer (talk) 02:01, 20 September 2021 (UTC)