Talk:Mary Pitman Ailau/GA1
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Reviewer: Hurricane Noah (talk · contribs) 03:54, 2 April 2020 (UTC)
Will review tomorrow morning. NoahTalk 03:54, 2 April 2020 (UTC)
- I don't like the idea of having 5 citations in the middle of a sentence since it breaks up the flow considerably.
- Merged the citations.
- Are you talking about the mother's name? I don't see Liliha as one of the mentioned names of the subject.
- Removed Liliha.
- "her use of the ahupuaʻa of Hilo" could you explain that term for the readers since it isn't exactly clear?
- Added
- Could you add alternate text for the images?
- Added
Will do the other half when I get back NoahTalk 12:15, 2 April 2020 (UTC)
- All and all a pretty decent article. Just a few minor items I saw. NoahTalk 13:39, 2 April 2020 (UTC)
- After thinking about it a bit more, is there anything out there to add that could expand on her roles as a maid of honor and a lady in waiting?
- No this is all that is found. KAVEBEAR (talk) 17:22, 2 April 2020 (UTC)
- You mention an illness but never say what she ended up dying from.
- Is there anything else that she did in her later life?
- No this is all that is found. KAVEBEAR (talk) 17:22, 2 April 2020 (UTC)
I added a few more comments after revisiting it. NoahTalk 17:01, 2 April 2020 (UTC)
- @Hurricane Noah: Finished. KAVEBEAR (talk) 17:22, 2 April 2020 (UTC)
- @KAVEBEAR: Passing... I just fixed a typo and some grammatical issues on the page. NoahTalk 17:30, 2 April 2020 (UTC)