Talk:Kathy Dunderdale/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Nikkimaria (talk) 20:23, 6 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Hello! I will be reviewing this article for potential GA status. My review should be posted shortly. Cheers, Nikkimaria (talk) 20:23, 6 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I've decided to place this article on hold to allow time for the below concerns to be addressed. Nikkimaria (talk) 20:47, 6 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Writing and formatting

Don't use contractions
Done
"She was sworn in as premier on December 3, 2010 after the resignation of Danny Williams...When Williams resigned as premier of

the province, Dunderdale was sworn in as his successor" - unnecessary repetition in lead. There are several examples of repetitive phrasings throughout the article -

Done
"the Status of Women" - is this an organization? Can you briefly explain its function?
Spell out "%" in article text, spell out numbers under 10
Done
Avoid one-sentence paragraphs where possible

Specify on first occurrence that the currency being used is C$
Done
"She appointed Innovation, Trade and Rural Development Minister Shawn Skinner as her successor, she made several other changes but did not appoint a Deputy Premier" - grammar
Done
Need more hyphens

"14 doctors announced their resignations...the 13 doctors who tendered their resignations" - what happened to the other doctor?
Done
"the premier’s office announced that due to a couple of incidents since Dunderdale became premier in December that police bodyguards had been assigned to her" - grammar
Done
"The NTV/Telelink poll..." - this paragraph is very difficult to read, can it be reworded or summarized more clearly?

I think I cleaified it

Accuracy and verifiability

Footnotes for electoral tables can appear within the table itself, usually after the title
Done
All web sources need publisher and retrieval date
Done
Date formatting should be more consistent

Don't understand this?

What makes this a reliable source? - I don't know why it's not?
- Digital Journal is a participatory-journalism site, "a social news site powered by people just like you. Made up of professional journalists, citizen journalists, bloggers, passionate writers and regular Joes and Janes". If anyone can contribute, you can't be sure of the reliability of the source - that's part of the reason we don't cite wikis. However, this piece has a named author - if you can verify that author's credentials, then you can safely use this source.
  - There was nothing different in that article then others I had so I just replaced it.

Broad

When did she marry? When were her children born?
"Dunderdale was elected to the Burin town council and served as deputy mayor" - when? In general, be more specific about the timeline
"the rules committee upheld the previous ruling by the credentials committee" - you didn't actually say that the previous ruling was made by the credentials committee

Neutrality

Some phrasings could be less colloquial
Keep in mind that as a biography of a living person neutrality standards are higher for this article than for most
"she negotiated and signed several major development deals which will add billions of dollars to the provincial coffers" - which will? Unless you can predict the future, be more vague and politician-like ;-)

Stability

No issues noted

Images

Article has no images - no issues

Fixed some of the issues and I'm looking at some others. Sadly I don't think I will be able to get enough ditailed information on her at this time for this to make this a GA article. Newfoundlander&Labradorian (talk) 22:34, 6 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Looking much better. There's still some work to be done, but I think it's now good enough for GA status. I encourage you to keep working to improve the article. Nikkimaria (talk) 13:13, 15 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Woohooo! I plan on updating the article regularly and using a similar format as Ed Stelmach's article. She's only been premier 3 months so there's still not much written on her, hopefully with this been an election year we will see more biography stories on her. Newfoundlander&Labradorian (talk) 15:22, 15 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]