Talk:IG-11/GA1

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 11:00, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

• " bounty hunter droid" sea of blue. I thought it would link to an article about bounty hunter droids.
  • I wasn't sure how to resolve this without eliminating one of the wikilinks, so I removed the link to "bounty hunter" and kept the one for "droid". — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• " an alien known" alien links to "extraterrestrial" but aren't pretty much all characters in Star Wars therefore alien?
  • Removed the wikilink. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• "the Child" - the should be inside the pipe.
  • Fixed. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• likewise for the Mandalorian.
  • Fixed. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• " IG-11 is later repaired" was he really "killed"? He's a droid....
  • Changed to "destroyed". — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• "nurse" doesn't need linking.
  • Removed. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• "mutual work together" probably could drop either mutual or together, it's somewhat tautological to have both.
  • Dropped "together". — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• " by reviewers and fans alike. He has been described as a fan favorite" maybe merge, " by reviewers and has been described as a fan favorite"...
  • Good call, I combined them. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• "appeared ... appearance" is clunky.
  • I changed "appeared" simply to "was", though if you have a suggestion for a better word I'm open to it. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• "outlawed in the galaxy." throughout the galaxy (and which galaxy?)
  • Well, the answer is the galaxy that Star Wars is set in, which doesn't have an actual name, which is why I just went with "the galaxy". LOL But to avoid confusion, I just removed "in the galaxy" from this sentence. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• "In his first appearance on the show, IG-11" I don't think "on the show" is required.
  • Agreed, I removed it. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• " known as The Mandalorian" the Mandalorian.
  • Fixed. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• That sentence has three "bounty"s
  • Reworded the second one; I think the other two are unavoidable because one identifies the Guild by its proper name, and the other identifies the profession of the Mandalorian. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• "the asset to " first use of "asset", it's not clear this means the "unidentified living being" noted earlier.
  • Changed from "asset" to "being". — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• "a massive gunfight" I think "massive" is not encyclopedic in tone, perhaps "large".
  • Changed. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• as "The Child" -> as the Child.
  • Changed. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• "and kills him " again, wasn't he more "destroyed" than killed?
  • Changed this one as well. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• "protect",[9] When the" grammar fail.
  • Changed the comma to a period. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• Imperial Scout Troopers and "stormtroopers" (not capitalised) both link to the same article.
  • Removed the second wikilink. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• "a Mandalorian armorer in " as this links to a specific character, probably best to put "a Mandalorian" inside the pipe.
  • Done. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• "the Terminator," put "the" inside the pipe.
  • Done. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• "among fans due to their familiarity with" tighten this to "among fans familiar with"
  • Changed. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• Taika Waititi is overlinked.
  • Removed the wikilink under "Portrayal" so he's now only linked in the first reference in the body of the article. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• Put (MCU) after the first expanded version of it.
  • Instead of doing this, I just changed "MCU" to "Marvel" so we wouldn't need to establish the acronym, if this works for you? — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• Link MVP, this isn't a common term outside the US.
  • Done. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
• Ref 31, spaced hyphen should be en-dash.
  • Changed. — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

That's all I have. FWIW I thoroughly enjoyed the article, the above are suggestions which would probably propel it way beyond GA quality. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 11:55, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

• Thanks The Rambling Man, and thanks for the review! — Hunter Kahn 13:56, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  This is excellent stuff. No hesitation in promoting. I'll probably take a look at another similar GAN of yours in due course. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Stay indoors, stay safe!!!!) 18:20, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • Thanks very much for the review The Rambling Man! — Hunter Kahn 19:00, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]