Talk:Glutonny/GA1
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Reviewer: Alexandra IDV (talk · contribs) 09:20, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
I've been unsure about reviewing this because I don't follow esports, but it's been waiting for a review for too long, so let's do it.--AlexandraIDV 09:20, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
Infobox/lead
- Glutonny's age does not appear to be backed up by a source - either add a source or remove it
- I don't know what the best way of handling this would be, but it was not obvious to me that "professional" would be linking to Super Smash Bros. in esports until I hovered over it.
- "Super Smash Bros" is a short enough title that I wouldn't consider it worth it to shorten it to the less formal "Smash Bros." / "Smash for Wii U" / "Ultimate". This applies across the article.
the best Wario
is gaming jargon and not appropriate here since we write for general audiences - would suggest changing all instance of calling him a Wario to "Wario player"- Using "title" to mean "game" is probably not the best here, since it can be misread as being about the "best [SSB] player in Europe" type of titles
Brawl
- Italicize game titles.
- Is his brother notable? If so, mention his name; if not, it's fine as it is
- Give some context for SKATAR, I can't tell how major of an event it is
Wii U
- What is Panda Global?
Ultimate
- Link ESPN
Wario
he was considered the best Wario player in Europe in Super Smash Bros. Brawl,[35] the best Wario in the world in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U,[54] and is a contender for the best Wario in the world in Ultimate.
Grammar issue here - you can either format this as "he was considered X and Y, and is a contender" or "he was considered X, Y, and a contender", but not "he was considered X, Y, and is a contender". Basically, the final item in the list of the things he's considered needs an "and".Glutonny's gaming handle was inspired his use of Wario as well as by the character Gluttony from Fullmetal Alchemist.
"inspired by". Also, italicize Fullmetal Alchemist.he can get anywhere on the map that he needs to be.
is not literally true - rephrase
References
- Smashboards seems to be a message board, unclear how this is a usable source.
- Dexerto and EventHubs are listed as unreliable sources on WP:VG/RS
Images
- Main infobox image is good
- It would be nice to be able to illustrate the second half of the article since there's a lot of text. Are there any freely usable images of the events or of any of the more prominently mentioned players that we can use? If not, that's fine.
Notes/recommendations not part of GA criteria
- I highly recommend adding brief alt text to the image, to aid readers with impaired vision
Aside from these points, it looks all right - main issue might be the sources. I will put this review on hold for seven days - ping me when you have addressed the issues or if you have any questions, and I'll respond asap. Thank you~!--AlexandraIDV 10:02, 30 October 2020 (UTC)
- As the nominator has not responded after a week, even after I left a reminder on their user page, and has not otherwise been active on Wikipedia since October 22, and the above issues still remain unresolved, I will unfortunately have to fail this. Feel free to re-nominate it if you have more time to work on the article later.--AlexandraIDV 15:54, 8 November 2020 (UTC)