Talk:Glenn Robinson III/GA1
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Reviewer: Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 03:12, 20 December 2012 (UTC)
I will be reviewing the article. Comments will be posted within 12 hours.
—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 03:12, 20 December 2012 (UTC)
- Lead
"He is the son of 1994 NBA first overall draft pick Glenn Robinson." Try to avoid having wikileaks back-to-back. Maybe something like "He is the son of Glenn Robinson, the 1994 NBA first overall draft pick.""he committed to Michigan before" -> "he committed to Michigan University before"" three-star prospect" by whom?- added.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 03:39, 23 December 2012 (UTC)
"he was a five-star top 20 prospect in the national class according to some" should be a comma have five-star. Also, by whom?- Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 03:48, 23 December 2012 (UTC)
" selectors, but did appear in" remove comma- I added a he instead.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 03:40, 23 December 2012 (UTC)
- Background
"was a first-team All-area selection" what does this mean?- Typically all-area means All-city and surrounding area. Something like All-northwest Indiana.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:00, 23 December 2012 (UTC)
- Oh, ok. Makes sense.
—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 20:53, 31 December 2012 (UTC)
- Oh, ok. Makes sense.
- Typically all-area means All-city and surrounding area. Something like All-northwest Indiana.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:00, 23 December 2012 (UTC)
"and Indiana State and Rivals.com rated him" -> "and Indiana State, and Rivals.com rated him""He and Mitch McGary had" who is Mitch McGary?- That sentence and the subsequent one provide context and his name is linked. What more do you want?--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 03:56, 23 December 2012 (UTC)
- Ah, my bad. I didn't see it was linked.
"By the time McGary committed to Michigan in November 2011, Robinson had moved up to the national number 34 player ranking according to Rivals.com." unsourced- The reference for the subsequent sentence covers it. I don't think we need to put the same reference on two consecutive sentences.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 03:58, 23 December 2012 (UTC)
- Fair enough.
—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 20:53, 31 December 2012 (UTC)
- Fair enough.
- The reference for the subsequent sentence covers it. I don't think we need to put the same reference on two consecutive sentences.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 03:58, 23 December 2012 (UTC)
I'll finish the rest once I get off work today.
- I apologize for the delay, but I don't really have a lot of extra time because of the Holidays. I will reply back by the end of the week.
—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 04:47, 25 December 2012 (UTC)- Once again, I apologize. I am finishing the review now.
—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 20:40, 31 December 2012 (UTC)
- Once again, I apologize. I am finishing the review now.
- Background (part 2)
- "Robinson earned MVP honors with 33..." I suggest spelling out Mose Valuable Player (MVP), as people outside the sports world might not know what this means.
- Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 00:49, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
- "Although, he finished as the highest rated Indiana basketball player according to Rivals.com and the Indiana Basketball News state MVP,[26][2] he was not a McDonalds selectee." Is there any reason why he wasn't selected? If not, it's fine.
- Basically some selectors thought he was top 20 or top 24 and others did not. I don't know how many McDs selected last year, but he was outside the cutoff at the time of selection.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 00:51, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
- College career
- "eight field goals in a November 12 91–54 victory against" the 12 91 part looks weird to me for some reason. I'd try to reword it to something like "eight field goals in a 91–54 victory on November 12"
- Personal
- "Robinson III's nickname is "Trey".[4][1]" -> "Robinson III's nickname is "Trey".[1][4]"
- Refs
- Reference #14 doesn't have a work or publisher
- publishr --> publisher.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 01:01, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
- External links
- "Robinson III at ESPN" and "Robinson III @ CBS Sports" Either change them all to "at" or all to "@".
- Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 01:00, 1 January 2013 (UTC)
Article looks good; once these are completed I will most likely pass the article.
—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 20:53, 31 December 2012 (UTC)
OK. Passed. Good work.
—Michael Jester (talk · contribs) 02:24, 1 January 2013 (UTC)