Talk:Derek Kraus/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: MrLinkinPark333 (talk · contribs) 01:43, 21 September 2019 (UTC)
Hello! I'll be reviewing this article. Please keep in mind I've only ever written one motorsports article (but not as detailed as this one). If I make any errors in regards to terminology. please let me know. Also, feel free to leave any comments or questions you have on this review. I'll go through a bit here and there, and let you know when the review is completed. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:43, 21 September 2019 (UTC)
Rate | Attribute | Review Comment |
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1. Well-written: | ||
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1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct. | Almost. A few run on sentences that could benefit with breaking into two sentences. |
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1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation. | Some parts of the lead need to be included in the subsquent paragraphs. |
2. Verifiable with no original research: | ||
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2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. | easy yes. |
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2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). | Some sources I'm not sure if they are reliable (Motorsports Tribune and Catchfence) while Lastcar.info doesn't seem reliable as it's an unofficial NASCAR site. |
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2c. it contains no original research. | There are statements where there are sentences not supported by the source. The main issue is the Colorado race part not mentioning Deegan spun out nor Kraus was heading to turn 3 in Autoweek. Also two sentences missing a citation. |
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2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism. | A handful of close paraphrasing, with the major one being the 2018 Camping Truck debut. |
3. Broad in its coverage: | ||
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3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. | mentioning Deegan raced in race three and four in 2019 with Kraus seems out of scope as this article is about Kraus, not Deegan. |
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3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style). | The 2019 Colorado race seems too detailed in compassion to the other races. |
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4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. | Many non-neutral sentences. Examples includes "disappointing result" and ""forcibly taking the lead back". |
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5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. | no edit wars. |
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio: | ||
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6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. | Most are CC SA 4.0. The one that isn't (2019 Bristol) is a Flickr image with CC BY 2.0 and verified to have this license as of Sept 2019. |
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6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions. | Most of the pictures are not relevant as they are not discussed in any sections. On a different note, the Merdian Speedway caption would need a bit of tweaking to match what the 2018 paragraph says. |
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7. Overall assessment. | Not yet as it needs work. See overall section below. |
Lead, infobox, images
- The following section would need verification and inclusion that he currently competes full-time in West, part-time in East and part-time in Ganders.
- "current NASCAR Next member" - yes he joined in 2018, but there's no mention that he's still a member as of 2019.
- Seems the program was dropped for this year at least temporarily, changed to "former." --Bcschneider53 (talk) 16:51, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- I think it's fine with former as there's no source added for him for 2019, so former would still apply.
Checked --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:31, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
- The infobox says Las Vegas 2019 was Kraus's last race. Does that mean he will no longer compete at Ganders?
- "Last" just means "most recent" in NASCAR and motorsport infobox terms. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 16:51, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- Okay. I don't think it'd effect this review. When i use the infobox for my racing bio, last race was the last race LOL.
Checked --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:27, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
- There seems to be too many pictures, some of which doesn't reflect what's in the paragprahs. Of the photos:
- There's no mention of the 2015 Midwest Truck win at Golden Sands Speedway.
Removed --Bcschneider53 (talk) 16:51, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- His debut during the 2016 ARCA Midwest at Madison isn't there
Removed --Bcschneider53 (talk) 16:51, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Dover 2018 was skipped in the related paragraph.
Added information to both the caption and body, the season finale was the Dover race. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 16:51, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- The Meridian Speedway caption would need a year and needed to be rewritten as the related paragraph says "led nearly 200 laps" - not the first 189 laps.
Added a year, tweaked the body in addition to the caption. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 16:51, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Just noticed the Hometracks source does say 189 laps so this works. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:31, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
- There is also no mention in the 2018 section that Meridian was his fifth pole for K&N West of the 2018 season.
Removed --Bcschneider53 (talk) 16:51, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- The Bristol 2019 and bandolero 2013 pictures are relevant.
Early years
- "State Park and state bandeleros championship" -> championships (as they were two separate events)
Done Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 01:10, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- "He moved up to Midwest trucks and super late models before he turned fourteen." - As he competed in American Ethanol at age thirteen. I think his age during these two series should be reworded to prevent confusion.
Done Changed wording to avoid confusion. Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 01:10, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
- Still a bit of issue as the sentence "winning his first SLM race before he turned fourteen" is earlier in the paragraph before "he became the youngest driver to win a feature at Rockford Speedway at age 13." To me, it'd confuse the reader going from fourteen to thirteen instead of the other way round. Yes i realize it's two different years (2014 and 2015). --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:47, 27 September 2019 (UTC)
- Tweaked it further. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 16:56, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Tweaked it further. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 16:56, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- “traveling far across the United States” - This is not in the KWWL source. As the source just states he competed at New Symera, I suggest dropping this quoted part only and reword for grammar.
Removed Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 01:10, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
- "traveling to compete" sounds odd to me. I would say this is a grammar issue as well. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:47, 27 September 2019 (UTC)
- Changed to "competing" for simplicity. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 16:56, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Changed to "competing" for simplicity. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 16:56, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- "win a full-bodied vehicle feature" - I don't think this close paraphrase passes WP:LIMITED with "full-bodied vehicle feature"
Done Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 01:10, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- ARCA Midwest Tour doesn't specifically state he competed full-time at the Midwest Truck Series. Yes he won the championship but doesn't state how many races he competed in.
Done sources swapped to back it up. Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 01:10, 23 September 2019 (UTC))
Checked
- Similar problem with Motosrport.com not specifically saying he competed full-time at the ARCA Midwest Tour. Just has his final point standings and record he surpassed.
Removed Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 01:10, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
2017: K&N Pro Series
- Wausau Daily Herald doesn't say Kraus would drive in K&S Pro Series West full-time, just that'd he be competing that season.
Done source swapped to back it up. Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 01:10, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Midwest Tour 2017 source doesn't say the Kern County Raceway race happened in the winter. Yes, it happened before the January 2017 announcement, but this source doesn't state when exactly the race was held. Maybe reword to "that year"
Checked
- "tried out for the ride" -> the race? I know this source states "ride" but the rest of Kraus's Wiki article says race.
Done believe it was for the season. I adjusted wording accordingly. Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 01:10, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
- "tried out for the ride, testing for the team" - seems redundant. I think trying out for the team sounds better than trying out for the ride. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:26, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- Redundacy was removed. See recap section. truck suffered from transmission problems,"
Checked --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:36, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- Redundacy was removed. See recap section. truck suffered from transmission problems,"
- "tried out for the ride, testing for the team" - seems redundant. I think trying out for the team sounds better than trying out for the ride. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:26, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- "After setting career-best finishes of second at Kern County, Spokane County Raceway, and Colorado National Speedway he broke through by winning the pole at Iowa Speedway,[11] thanking his team for good equipment to keep him ahead of the learning curve"
Done Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 01:10, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- "second at Kern County, Spokane County Raceway, and Colorado National Speedway" - true, but these races were Pro Series West. I think clarification is needed as the previous sentence talks about his Pro Series East debut.
Done Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 01:10, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- "early in the season." - I don't think this part is needed as the last second place for West Series was halfway in the season. Racing Reference has the race numbers, but not early/middle/late etc. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:26, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- Dealt with in the recap section.
Checked --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:36, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- Dealt with in the recap section.
- "broke through by winning the pole" - i don't think "broke through" is neutral.
Removed Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 01:10, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- "thanking his team for good equipment to keep him ahead of the learning curve" - seems like unnecessary detail.
Removed Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 01:10, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- "Kraus first led for an extended period at Meridian" - Frontstretch doesn't say it was his first time he led for an extended period. I think "first" can be dropped, otherwise source would need to be swapped.
Removed Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 01:10, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- "Kraus credited his spotter for telling him to save tires on the final run to clinch the victory" - also seems like unnecessary detail.
Removed Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 01:10, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
2018: K&N contender; truck debut
Paragraph one:
- "transporting his Super Late Model 2,000 miles (3,200 km) from Wisconsin with Ty Majeski to California" - unnecessary details.
Removed Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 13:36, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- "considered by some as the favorite to win the championship" - this seems like WP:WEASEL with the "considered by some" part. The hometracks source says "Kraus is BMR’s focal point and championship favorite". From my understanding, the source is saying that Kraus was BMR's top pick to win the championship, not more than one person. Even if that is the case, this statement is not neutral and would be puffery as well.
Done Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 13:36, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- "dominant driver Kevin Harvick" - dominant isn't neutral.
Done Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 13:36, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Too many citations with the Kern County race per Wikipedia:Citation_overkill#Reprints
- I don't see any of these sources mentioning that Kraus slid to the back of the pack, only Harvick going from 1st to ninth.
Checked
- Close paraphrasing with "ceding the lead" and "lapped traffic" of the Autoweek source. I don't thinking these would fall under WP:LIMITED.
Checked
- "Kraus eventually caught Rouse" - sounds like WP:EDITORIALIZING with "eventually caught"
Checked
- I don't see any of these sources mentioning that Kraus slid to the back of the pack, only Harvick going from 1st to ninth.
Done all of them. Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 13:36, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
- Even though "lapped traffic" is still there, I think it might be a terminology that can't really be rephrased. I also see that this entire part was reworded as well, so it's good. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:31, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
- " led an overwhelming majority of the race but ran out of fuel in the closing stages of the race, handing the win to Derek Thorn" - similar neutrality issue with "overwhelming majority".
Checked
- I also thinking "handing the win" is a bit not neutral. But I'm more concerned with the "overwhelming" part.
Checked
- I also thinking "handing the win" is a bit not neutral. But I'm more concerned with the "overwhelming" part.
- Both
Done Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 13:36, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
- "Kraus battled a tight car but eventually passed BMR teammate Cole Rouse on the final restart" - the tight car part doesn't seem right. Kraus said he would get too "tight" behind a car when attempting to pass them. I don't think this part is needed.
Checked
Removed Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 13:36, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
- "eventually passed BMR teammate" - similar editorialzing part with "eventually".
Checked
- "eventually passed BMR teammate" - similar editorialzing part with "eventually".
- "At the Las Vegas Motor Speedway Dirt Track, he led laps but spun twice, once from lead and wound up retiring in the later stages of the race." - Hub City Times said he spun once, not twice.
Checked
- He didn't retire from the race. He finished in 17th.
Checked per below.
- Should the amount of laps be mentioned? "led laps" seems incomplete, but if you'd prefer not to mention it, then that's fine.
Checked
- He didn't retire from the race. He finished in 17th.
Done Reworded to avoid confusion, source added. Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 13:36, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
- I see the additional Racing Reference source did say he crashed in this event. So i think this'll work for the retiring part.
Checked
- I see the additional Racing Reference source did say he crashed in this event. So i think this'll work for the retiring part.
- but spun and wound up retiring" - not 100% if this is netural. Minor tweak maybe? --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:31, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
- Dealt with in recap section.
Checked --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:21, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
- Dealt with in recap section.
- but spun and wound up retiring" - not 100% if this is netural. Minor tweak maybe? --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:31, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
- " The bad luck that seemed to plague Kraus in 2018 continued in the Idaho 208 when Taylor Canfield spun and blocked the track, forcing Kraus into the wall after leading over 175 laps. Kraus would later imply that Canfield's incident cost him the victory" - mutliple issues with this one.
- "The bad luck that seemed to plague Kraus in 2018 continued in the Idaho 208" - not neutral.
Checked
- Yes Canfield spun out and resulted in Kraus going into the wall, but it doesn't specifcally say Canfield was blocking the track.
Checked
- Source doesn't say Kraus was leading for over 175 laps when Canfield spun out.
Checked
- "Kraus would later imply that Canfield's incident cost him the victory" - not neutral.
Checked
- Overall, this citation (Lastcar.info) doesn't seem like a reliable source as the page says it's an "unofficial NASCAR website". I could be wrong with it being not reliable.
Checked
- "The bad luck that seemed to plague Kraus in 2018 continued in the Idaho 208" - not neutral.
- Everything
Done. Blew up the section and started from scratch in prose and cites. Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 13:36, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
- "the site of Kraus' notable bump-and-run in March and a track that Kraus called "fun". Like the spring, Kraus won the race, and unlike the spring, Kraus avoided controversies in doing so." - all of this quoted part is not netural. Main issues are "notable bump-and-run" and the controversies part.
Checked
- Also, the Bakersfield Californian does not mnetion the March race at all, making this editorializing/OR.
Checked
- Also, the Bakersfield Californian does not mnetion the March race at all, making this editorializing/OR.
Done swapped sources. Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 13:36, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
- While the speed51 doesn't mention it was the second time in the season for Kern County, I think it's fine as earlier in the paragraph it mentions Kern with citation. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:17, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
- Need a source for Kraus's fourth finish in points for Pro Series West.
Checked
- Racing Reference doesn't state the team name for Thorn, Partidge nor Rouse. Although Rouse was mentioned as being Kraus's teammate earlier in this section, there's no mention of Sunshine Ford. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:12, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
- This was dropped in recap.
Checked --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:21, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
- This was dropped in recap.
- Racing Reference doesn't state the team name for Thorn, Partidge nor Rouse. Although Rouse was mentioned as being Kraus's teammate earlier in this section, there's no mention of Sunshine Ford. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:12, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
- Just realized that the Winter Showdown is not part of the Pro Series West season. Maybe clarification is needed since the first race for Pro Series West was also held at Kern County.
Done clarified that it was late models. Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 19:08, 27 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- *A lot of the 2018 West part is not included in this section. The main thing I noticed missing was the 2 poles at Tuscon and 1 at Colorado. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:19, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- Tucson was added, Colorado wasn't based on too overly detailed per recap.
Checked --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:21, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
- Tucson was added, Colorado wasn't based on too overly detailed per recap.
Second and third paragraph
- " After finishing fourth in the hotly-contested season opener at New Smyrna Speedway" - hotly-contested not neutral
Checked
Removed Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 19:08, 27 September 2019 (UTC)
- "issues took its toll at Bristol Motor Speedway, leading to a disappointing result" - doesn't seem neutral
Checked
- also vague as it makes me ask "What happened at Bristol? What position did he finish in?" without consulting the source.
Checked
- Same issue as above with Lastcar.info not being an official NASCAR website.
Checked
- also vague as it makes me ask "What happened at Bristol? What position did he finish in?" without consulting the source.
- " New Hampshire Motor Speedway in the summer" - it won't effect this review, but I know from other articles that specific months are preferred per MOS:SEASON.
Done Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 19:08, 27 September 2019 (UTC)
- should be July, not June for New Hampshire. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:24, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
- Was corrected.
Checked --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:23, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
- Was corrected.
- should be July, not June for New Hampshire. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:24, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
- " but ultimately could not win a race in any of his four starts with BMR, though he did lead the New Hampshire race until nearly the final lap before being passed by Brandon McReynolds" - not netural, especially with the " ultimately could not win a race" and "though he did lead" parts.
Checked
- "lead the New Hampshire race until nearly the final lap before being passed by Brandon McReynold" - The wording of the sentence to me sounds like he led the race until the final race, which isn't true as McReynold took the lead in lap 29.
Checked
- also, Hometracks doesn't say how many Pro Series East races he competed in nor that he didn't win any of the four races.
Checked
- "lead the New Hampshire race until nearly the final lap before being passed by Brandon McReynold" - The wording of the sentence to me sounds like he led the race until the final race, which isn't true as McReynold took the lead in lap 29.
Done wording changed. Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 19:08, 27 September 2019 (UTC)
- " In his first race with DGR, he again claimed the pole at New Hampshire[30] and was leading before being passed by Brandon McReynolds on the final restart, finishing in second." - two sentences please for grammar.
- Also similar issue with Kraus and McReynolds trading the lead in the race multiple times. The sentence to me reads he led the race until the final restart, which isn't the case. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:24, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
- I'm not sure if Catchfence is reliable for the jump to DGR Crosley. I could be wrong.
- It's a reliable site. They have boots on the ground almost every weekend in the NASCAR garages. Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 19:08, 27 September 2019 (UTC)
- "In his first weekend with DGR, he completed his season sweep of East poles at New Hampshire," - Hometracks doesn't say it was a season sweep, just that it was his second pole in the season.
Checked
- "first weekend" -> first race?
Checked
- "first weekend" -> first race?
- Both
Done Willsome429 (say hey or see my edits!) 19:08, 27 September 2019 (UTC)
- Need a source for his second and third place finishes while competing with DGR Crosley at Pro Series East.
Checked
- "but once again finished second, and finished a similar third in the season finale at Dover." - minor retweak needed with "but" per WP:EDITORIALIZING.
Checked
- "On November 4, 2018, it was announced that Kraus would make his NASCAR Camping World Truck Series debut at ISM Raceway, driving the No. 19 Toyota Tundra for Bill McAnally Racing." - close paraphrasing of the Motorsports Tribune source.
- Kraus announced it himself, not it was announced by someone else.
- Not sure if Motorsports Tribune is reliable for the 2018 Camping Truck debut. I tried searching the author of the article, Luis Torres, but I'm not seeing any certain reliable sources he has written for.
- Per the removal of the Motorsports Tribune source, the WSAW source doesn't say he specifically announced he'd be competing at ISM. Also, the source says it was a Friday, so it wasn't "that weekend". --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:00, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
2019: Full-time in K&N, part-time in Trucks
First paragraph
- "Kraus returned to BMR for a third full West season in 2019. He also planned to run some East races, and potentially a few ARCA Menards Series events." - couple issues here.
- Journal sentinel doesn't state that he'd be competing in a full season for Pro Series West.
- It would take a major unforeseen circumstance for him not to run each of the last four races and complete the full season, but for now I have removed "full" from the sentence. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- Fair enough.
Checked --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:03, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- Source also said Kraus would be racing in some Pro Series East races, there wasn't doubt.
- Fixed. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019
Checked
- Fixed. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019
- This source does not specifically state Menards Series. It said his father was "working on sponsorship" for Kraus to race in an ARCA Series. Automobile Racing Club of America has multiple series, so this isn't backed up.
- With only two races left in the ARCA season, it's safe to say this probably isn't happening, so I've removed it. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- With only two races left in the ARCA season, it's safe to say this probably isn't happening, so I've removed it. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- "Kraus began the season by winning the K&N East season-opener at New Smyrna" - seems redundant with began the season and season-opener.
Done --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- " Kraus found himself only three points out of the championship points lead" - I'd suggest tweaking this a bit for neutrality, especially the "found himself only" part.
- Seems to be
Done by Willsome429. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Seems to be
- "This led to speculation that the team might run the full East schedule," - sounds like doubt and not neutral. Autoweek said he'd keep racing for Pro Series East as long as he was leading the points.
- Seems to be
Done by Willsome429. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Seems to be
- "Kraus and BMR teammate Deegan did end up competing" - editorializing with "did end up competing".
Done --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Mmentioning that Deegan did compete in races three and four is off topic. I suggest removing Deegan's mention here as the sentence before only talks about Kraus.
- Seems to have been
Removed by Willsome429 --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Seems to have been
- The Catchfence source says that he would be competing in the double header, not that he did. However, the adjacent Autoweek source does confirm it.
- Also a similar question with whether Catchfence is reliable.
- As was said earlier in the review, Catchfence is a credentialed media outlet at the track almost every weekend with a verified, reputable staff of writers. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- As Kraus has raced in races 5 - 10 for East (skipping 9), I think a summary should be added for broadness, but up to you if you want to include each event. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:03, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
Second and third paragraph
- "In the West Series, Kraus began the season at the Dirt Track at Las Vegas with a sixth-place finish after qualifying second and leading the field until getting shuffled back with 30 laps remaining" - maybe split into two sentences for grammar?
- Seems to be
Done by Willsome429. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Seems to be
- Minor point - NAPA Know How says he lost the lead with "just over 30 laps" left, not exactly 30 laps.
Checked
- Minor point - NAPA Know How says he lost the lead with "just over 30 laps" left, not exactly 30 laps.
- Seems to be
Done by Willsome429. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- Seems to be
- To me, I think the Colorado race is too overly detailed (with three sentences) in comparasion to the other races. But there's also issues with individual sentences:
- "Kraus ran up front until a broken sway bar hindered his car's performance, dropping him back to outside the top-five" - I don't think this right. Autoweek said "hanging on for dear life inside the top five." So i think he maintained a top-five position after the sway bar broke.
Checked
- "Kraus ran up front until a broken sway bar hindered his car's performance, dropping him back to outside the top-five" - I don't think this right. Autoweek said "hanging on for dear life inside the top five." So i think he maintained a top-five position after the sway bar broke.
- Seems to be
Done by Willsome429. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- Seems to be
- "He then worked back up to third on the final restart, forcibly taking the lead back from Deegan with two laps remaining." - not neutral with "forcibly taking the lead back".
Checked
- "He then worked back up to third on the final restart, forcibly taking the lead back from Deegan with two laps remaining." - not neutral with "forcibly taking the lead back".
- Seems to be
Done by Willsome429. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- Seems to be
- Also doesn't state that Kraus went back to third place with two laps left.
Checked
- Also doesn't state that Kraus went back to third place with two laps left.
- "Deegan then spun out Kraus going into turn 3 on the final lap, resulting in Kraus finishing eighth and venting his frustrations with the result on social media after the race" - not what Autoweek said. It said his car went up in smoke a lap after colliding with Deegan. No mention that Deegan spun out, nor Kraus was going into turn 3 in the final lap.
- Tweaked the wording in this section. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- The addition of the Sporting News source doesn't have Kraus's going into lap 3, nor Kraus finishing eighth after the collision with Deegan. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 19:40, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- Bit of WP:EDITORIALIZING issue with "eventually returned to the lead;[43] however," when describing the Colorado race. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:31, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- "however" is a editorialzing word as well per Words to watch. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 19:40, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- Yes he did vent his frustrations after the race, but I don't think it's needed in my opinion.
- Seems to have been
Removed by Willsome429. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Seems to have been
- "Before the next race at Sonoma, Kraus also had the opportunity prepare" - not sure what you mean by "opportunity prepare".
Checked
- Seems to have been reworded by Willsome429. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- Also, this race was at Sonoma, not the next race.
Not done Sonoma actually was the next race in the K&N West schedule after Colorado; the results table and applicable source indicate that. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- I don't think you'd need a source/sentence to say he had the opportunity to race at Trans Am and a source to say that he did race at Trans Am. To me, it sounds redundant.
Checked
Removed the first source. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- Just noticed that HomeTracks doesn't specifcally said it was held on the 16th, just "this past weekend" when the source was published on the 18th. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:28, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- Also per MOS:SEASON with spring/fall. Extra part that won't effect GA, but thought I should mention.
Checked
- "Jones, who spun and wrecked late in the race as a result of contact while contending for the win with Kraus, was unhappy with Kraus's aggression, saying he "just cleaned us out." - this additional sentence doesn't seem netural or relevant to Kraus, and would seem more suitable to the individual race article. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 19:42, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
Removed partly, but I still think it's important to note how the winning move was made so I made note of the fact that Jones was spun out. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 21:49, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- Any particular reason why his results at Martinsville and Las Vegas aren't mentioned? I know that ISM is november, Las Vegas was just this month, but Martinsville was in March according to Speed Sport.
- Willsome added his Martinsville result earlier, I added his finishing position from Vegas. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Willsome added his Martinsville result earlier, I added his finishing position from Vegas. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- " truck suffered from transmission problems," - i think "suffered" doesn't sound netural. Minor rewording needed. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:28, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- Not sure if Speedway Digest is relialbe for his eighth position finish at Dover.
- Source seems to have been changed (yes, Jayski is reliable, I have used it in several GAs and even FAs without issue and has been a part of ESPN and NASCAR's online media ventures (formerly and currently respectively). --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- I've no doubts about Jayski's reliability as I'm famillar with him per the reliable sources listed at WikiProject NASCAR ;) --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:03, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
Personal life and Motorsports career results
- Yes he wrestles for Stratford High School but I don't think it's during the winter. He does have a break from racing from December to January, but it's not specifically stated he wrestles while he's not racing in the winter.
Checked
- Seems Willsome429 took care of this. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:23, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- "That connection led to Menard becoming a fan of Derek's racing career." - puffery as it's saying Menard is a fan of Derek. i'd remove this quoted part only as saying that racing is in the family seems relevant.
Checked
- Seems Willsome429 took care of this. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:23, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- Kraus had two top fives and two top tens while competing for DGR-Crosley at 2018 Pro Series East, not one each.
Checked
- Seems Willsome429 took care of this. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:23, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- Kraus has six top fives, not three for 2019 Pro Series East
Checked
- Seems Willsome429 took care of this. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:23, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- He's also currently 7th, not 6th for this season. Same amount of points though.
Checked
- He's also currently 7th, not 6th for this season. Same amount of points though.
Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:23, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- Kraus is currently 42nd with 58 points for 2019 Ganders
Checked
- Seems Willsome429 took care of this. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:23, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- Kraus led for 109 laps at 2017 Pro Series West, not 40.
Checked
- Seems Willsome429 took care of this. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:23, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- Also slight tweak with his points. He had 534 points, not 533.
Checked
- Also slight tweak with his points. He had 534 points, not 533.
Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:23, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- Slight point tweak with 2019 Pro Series West. It should be 414, not 424.
Checked
- Seems Willsome429 took care of this. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:23, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
Overall
I think that's pretty much it. I'll write a recap tomorrow. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 02:32, 24 September 2019 (UTC)
@Willsome429: Overall: the article has minor and major issues. For minor, there are a few sentences where I feel needs some grammar tweaking. There's a little bit of off topic information and some spots where it's too overly detailed. Finally, the lead needs to reflect what's in the subsequent paragraphs in terms of part-time/full-time and NASCAR Next. For major issues, there are many neutrality issues, some inaccurate information, images that are not relevant to the article and possibly a handful of unreliable sources which would require more discussion. As this article had been edited during the review, I believe placing this article on hold would be beneficial. I'll have this article on hold until the 30th and reassess from there. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:26, 24 September 2019 (UTC)
- @MrLinkinPark333: Comment (full disclosure, William is a good friend of mine and I am also a NASCAR and motorsports project editor): I understand why you may find Lastcar questionable at first glance, but I think it has enough going for it. The founder and head writer, Brock Beard, has been granted full media credential status at NASCAR races at Sonoma Raceway, Darlington Raceway, and Canadian Tire Motorsport Park. I believe that says something about NASCAR's view of the source. If they deem it legitimate enough to be granted access to officially cover it on-site with access to drivers and teams for interviews, I think it passes the test. It may be small, but it's oftentimes the only resource smaller teams have. (FWIW Brock is also a published author through Waldorf Books with his recent release J.D.: The Life and Death of a Forgotten NASCAR Legend.)
- Also, @Willsome429: if you need any assistance finishing this up, just ping me and I'll do my best to help. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 01:59, 25 September 2019 (UTC)
- @Bcschneider53: Hello. Thank you for your comments. I don't know if you've seen, but both of these Lastcar.info sources were part of sentences where there were neutrality issues (the bad luck and disappointing result parts), These parts were subsequently removed. Also, these sources were not written by Brock, but a guest contributor named William Soquet. While Brock might be a reliable suthor (i would have to dig outside of this review), Soquet himself doesn't seem to have written in other reliable sources. As Lastcar.info is technically a blog (published on Blogger), and Kraus is a living person, I think this would fail WP:SELFPUBLISH per not using "third-party sources about living people, even if the author is an expert," If it doesn't fail this particular criteria, then the question is whether Soquet has published in other reliable sources or not. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 02:23, 25 September 2019 (UTC)
- @MrLinkinPark333: Fair enough, for a driver of Kraus' level there should probably be alternatives out there anyway, but if the sections have been removed entirely, it's a non-issue. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 12:01, 25 September 2019 (UTC)
- @Bcschneider53: Hello. Thank you for your comments. I don't know if you've seen, but both of these Lastcar.info sources were part of sentences where there were neutrality issues (the bad luck and disappointing result parts), These parts were subsequently removed. Also, these sources were not written by Brock, but a guest contributor named William Soquet. While Brock might be a reliable suthor (i would have to dig outside of this review), Soquet himself doesn't seem to have written in other reliable sources. As Lastcar.info is technically a blog (published on Blogger), and Kraus is a living person, I think this would fail WP:SELFPUBLISH per not using "third-party sources about living people, even if the author is an expert," If it doesn't fail this particular criteria, then the question is whether Soquet has published in other reliable sources or not. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 02:23, 25 September 2019 (UTC)
- @MrLinkinPark333: I believe everything in the review has been addressed by at least one of us. As for the lead regarding his full-time and part-time status in each series, would the results tables be enough to verify and indicate that? Best, --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:24, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- @Bcschneider53: In response to full time/part time, Ganders part time and West full time would be obvious in terms of the table. East part-time I don't think so, based on his 2019 season (9 out of 12 races). --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:36, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
Recap
Here's a recap of the sections and what's left to be done, if any.
- Early years done
- 2017 K&N Pro Series - "tried out for the ride, testing for the team" redundancy, second place wins "early in the season" not cited
Removed redundancy and the "early in the season" phrase. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 22:52, 28 September 2019 (UTC)
- All done for 2017 part.
Checked
- 2018 K&N Contender paragraph one: - Not sure if "but spun and wound up retiring" is neutral for Las Vegas, especially the wound up part (yes i know it means ending up). Alternativelly, Racing Reference doesn't have the team name for Thorn nor Partidge for the season points. So either an additional source is needed, or Sunrise Ford Racing has to be dropped.
Checked --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:38, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
- Not sure why I didn't check this off but I think it's
Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 14:45, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- Not sure why I didn't check this off but I think it's
- Section done.
Checked --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:21, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
- Section done.
- 2018 K&N Contender paragraph two and three: WSAW doesn't have Kraus's specific announcement and says ISM was on a Friday and not a weekend, minor editorializing with "but once again" with New Hampshire/Dover results.
Checked
Done reworked the section and added a new source. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 00:55, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
- New Hampshire's first race was in July, not June, Kraus did not lead the entire first New Hampshire race before the final restart, and second New Hampshire race has a grammar issue. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:30, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- New Hampshire's first race was in July, not June, Kraus did not lead the entire first New Hampshire race before the final restart, and second New Hampshire race has a grammar issue. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:30, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
- All
Done --Bcschneider53 (talk) 03:03, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
- All
- Just noticed "battled with Brandon McReynolds" - battled isn't netural to me. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:39, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Also "Kraus began the 2018 season" , should be clairifed this was the West season. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:09, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
Partly done, the winter showdown wasn't a part of the K&N West season, I tweaked the opening couple of sentences though. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 14:45, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Some of the races for 2018 West aren't included in this summary. If not all of them are needed to prevent unncessery detail, then that's okay with me. The one thing I'm a bit surprised was omitted was Kraus's two poles at Tuscon and one at Colorado, considering the ones at Evergeen and Meridian were added. Was there a reason why this East season is not fully written? --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:17, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- I added Tucson since the double pole was worth mentioning, but we do try to avoid including every single race in season summaries to avoid excessive details. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 14:45, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- Alright. As long as some of it was included, then that works. Section complete.
Checked --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:14, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Alright. As long as some of it was included, then that works. Section complete.
- 2019: first paragraph - I think a summary of his performance of East races 5 - 10 (skipping 9) should be there for broadness, considering it's in the results. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:04, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
Added, he essentially conceded the East title by skipping 9. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 14:55, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- "However" would need to be dropped per editorialzing when describing the rest of his East Races. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 19:49, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
Removed --Bcschneider53 (talk) 21:50, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- 2019: second and third paragraph - ediorializing issue with "eventually returned to the lead; however" for the Colorado race, HomeTracks doesn't state the Trans Am race was specifically on the 16th, neturality issue with "truck suffered from transmission problems," with the word choice of "suffered".
Checked
- All
Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 14:45, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- All
- The Sporting News source doesn't say Kraus was going into lap 3 when he collided with Deegan at Colorado, nor say Kraus finished in eighth. Also an editiorialzing issue with "however" for Colorado. On a different note, the additional sentence about Jones's comment of Kraus's behaviour at Meridian doesn't seem netural or relevant to his specific article. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 19:46, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- The Sporting News source doesn't say Kraus was going into lap 3 when he collided with Deegan at Colorado, nor say Kraus finished in eighth. Also an editiorialzing issue with "however" for Colorado. On a different note, the additional sentence about Jones's comment of Kraus's behaviour at Meridian doesn't seem netural or relevant to his specific article. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 19:46, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- Almost there. The racing reference citation that supports the eighth place finish would need to be beside the Sporting News reference, as Racing reference doesn't have the collision. also "Kraus' truck " -> "Kraus's truck" for the Las Vegas race. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:55, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Almost there. The racing reference citation that supports the eighth place finish would need to be beside the Sporting News reference, as Racing reference doesn't have the collision. also "Kraus' truck " -> "Kraus's truck" for the Las Vegas race. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:55, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
Fixed --Bcschneider53 (talk) 23:31, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- again a similar issue with "but Deegan collided with him on the final lap," per WP:SYNTH and editorializing. I know these parts are difficult. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:05, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
- "where he led 100 laps after racing Jagger Jones for the victory throughout the event and spinning him late in the race" - I don't understand what you mean "spinning him". If you mean Kraus's collision sent Jones spinning, then yes. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:08, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- Changed to "colliding with him late in the race, spinning Jones out." --Bcschneider53 (talk) 23:31, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
Checked
- Changed to "colliding with him late in the race, spinning Jones out." --Bcschneider53 (talk) 23:31, 30 September 2019 (UTC)
- Personal life done
- Motorsport results done
--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:00, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
Will check the rest tomorrow. So far, most of the issues has been resolved in the first pass through with a few little bits here and there addressed in the second look through. In regards to the lead, I'll leave it for last. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:30, 29 September 2019 (UTC)
As of today, there's only two points left to address: the lead with full time/part time and the "but Deegan collided with him on the final lap," editorializing part. I'm willing to keep it open an extra day. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:02, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
- @MrLinkinPark333:
Done? Did my best at addressing each, feel free to let me know if anything else needs to be fixed, or to be bold and do it yourself. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 02:31, 1 October 2019 (UTC)
- @Bcschneider53: @Willsome429: Looks good! The only thing I spot is ref #11 needed to be moved to the end of the sentence (" his first combination race between the K&N Pro Series East and West."). But I don't think that's major enough to hold up this review. I'll pass this review as the criteria has been fulfilled. Well done! --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:16, 1 October 2019 (UTC)