Talk:Carnegie Museums of Pittsburgh

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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 20 January 2021 and 30 April 2021. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Mickeyssurfboard. Peer reviewers: PCBWV, Skiv99!.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 16:49, 16 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Assessment

I feel like this subject is important (high) to Pittsburgh, hence the rating

Neutrality

Much of this article's content is written from the standpoint of public relations for the museum it describes. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Georgelazenby (talk • contribs) 20:46, 16 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I agree with this. Terms like "incubator" and "innovative" (applied to the Hillman Photography Initiative section) have migrated from tech/start-up to culture in general as to be meaningless. Generally, they suggest something is hip, cutting edge, and exciting, but these give little sense of the concrete mission or accomplishment of the unit in question. 71.61.59.146 (talk) 15:01, 12 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I also agree. I revised several sentences for neutrality under the Carnegie Science Center section. I also shifted the pronouns to third person so "You are able to tour the submarine to learn how the men lived and worked on the boat" became "The purpose of the exhibit is for visitors to learn how people lived and worked on the boat." --KjessJKT (talk) 18:11, 24 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
As part of the Amplifying Appalachia 2023 Edit-a-thon, I've editing several more sentences for neutrality. In particular, I've removed references to the Carnegie Museum of Art's "Collection Search", as I felt it was too self-promotional to direct readers to the museum's website, as well as reduced the number of exhibits listed under the History Museum and Science Center sections to come across less like an advertisement. Since at this point it appears the issue of neutrality has been completely addressed by multiple editors, and since discussion of the neutrality issue has gone dormant, I'm going to remove the maintenance template. Js0257 (talk) 04:51, 31 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

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Article Lead

My edit was rewording this original sentence in the article, "The Carnegie Institute complex that includes the original museum, recital hall, and library was added to the National Register of Historic Places on March 30, 1979." I wrote "The Carnegie Institute complex includes the original museum, recital hall, and library that was added to the National Register of Historic Places on March 30, 1979." I thought by moving the word that, it made the sentence flow better.

A second edit of mine was to remove the unnecessary hyperlinks to some of the words in the article. The pages for them were not developed and were blank and it cleaned up the article to make it look more neater. Edit was made 03/04/2021


Mickeyssurfboard (talk) 19:59, 4 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Mickeysurfboard: Can you reword your heading so that instead of "edits" you describe the section of the article you worked on? Maybe "Article Lead"? KjessJKT (talk) 20:18, 4 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
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