Talk:2010 Kobalt Tools 500 (Phoenix)
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- This review is transcluded from Talk:2010 Kobalt Tools 500 (Phoenix)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: The Bushranger (talk · contribs) 19:28, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
Overall nice work here. Just has a few quibbles that need working on.
- It is reasonably well written.
- "The standard track at Phoenix International Raceway is a four-turn short track oval that is 1 mile (1.6 km) long." - No mention of the dogleg?
- How does "The back stretch, which has a dogleg shape instead of a straight..." work? -- Nascar1996(Talk • Contribs) 19:55, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
- "The back stretch had a 9 degree banking." - might be better as "has 9 degrees of..."
Done -- Nascar1996(Talk • Contribs) 19:55, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
- "was eleventh and twelfth" - "were", not "was"
Done -- Nascar1996(Talk • Contribs) 19:55, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
- "Edwards retained the pole position lead" - slightly awkward, perhaps "retained the lead from the pole position"?
Done -- Nascar1996(Talk • Contribs) 19:55, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
- "collided into the wall" - appears several times but is also slightly awkward, would "...hit the wall in turn (#)" work?
- Since it doesn't specify which turn it occurred in, I just substituted "collided" with other words in the other instances. -- Nascar1996(Talk • Contribs) 19:55, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
- "reclaimed the lead away from Hamlin" - shoud be either "took the lead away from..." or "reclaimed the lead from..." I think.
Done -- Nascar1996(Talk • Contribs) 19:55, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
- "caused him to fall to nineteenth on the grid" - sounds like the starting grid is being referenced. "...nineteenth in the field"?
Done Removed "on the grid." -- Nascar1996(Talk • Contribs) 19:55, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
- In the results tables, "Stewart-Haas Racing" should have the dash.
Done -- Nascar1996(Talk • Contribs) 19:55, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references):
b (citations to reliable sources):
c (OR):
- Article is fully and factually referenced, with citations throughout and free of WP:OR. I do have a quibble with the citation style used though, as it may be unclear to some viewers. I'd suggest using the following for certain sites, with the format work=/publisher=: Rotoworld.com = Rotoworld/NBC Sports; NASCAR.Com = NASCAR.com/Turner Sports; Jayski.com = Jayski's Silly Season Site/ESPN; racing-reference.info = Racing=Reference/USA Today Sports Media Group; MotorRacingNetwork.com = Motor Racing Network/International Speedway Corporation. Also, I'm not sure Auto Racing Daily is universally recognised as a reliable source, would it be possible to perhaps cite a newspaper report instead, like The Charlotte Observer's?
Done... I had to change the quotes while I was at it... -- Nascar1996(Talk • Contribs) 20:20, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
- Article is fully and factually referenced, with citations throughout and free of WP:OR. I do have a quibble with the citation style used though, as it may be unclear to some viewers. I'd suggest using the following for certain sites, with the format work=/publisher=: Rotoworld.com = Rotoworld/NBC Sports; NASCAR.Com = NASCAR.com/Turner Sports; Jayski.com = Jayski's Silly Season Site/ESPN; racing-reference.info = Racing=Reference/USA Today Sports Media Group; MotorRacingNetwork.com = Motor Racing Network/International Speedway Corporation. Also, I'm not sure Auto Racing Daily is universally recognised as a reliable source, would it be possible to perhaps cite a newspaper report instead, like The Charlotte Observer's?
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects):
b (focused):
- Article covers the event well and broadly without needless digression.
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Article is neutral.
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Images are appropriate, appropriately licensed, and captioned.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Very close, just needs attention to the issues above; placed on hold until then. - The Bushranger One ping only 19:28, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
- Looks like I have fixed all of the problems you have expressed. -- Nascar1996(Talk • Contribs) 20:20, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
- And pass, good work! - The Bushranger One ping only 21:33, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
- Looks like I have fixed all of the problems you have expressed. -- Nascar1996(Talk • Contribs) 20:20, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
- Very close, just needs attention to the issues above; placed on hold until then. - The Bushranger One ping only 19:28, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
- Pass/Fail:
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